Okay, so let's take a survey. Hands up if you've ever had a Spaniard, a Frenchman, and 2 Japanese guys talk and flirt with you for several hours over the course of 24 hours (and I have to admit here that I will be a little freaked out if any of you guys out there raise your hands...).
And people wonder why I like my job...
It's been a great weekend of great insights, including the deep insight I had detailing that I could NEVER marry a Spaniard becuase no matter HOW good/unaccented his English is, he could still never open his mouth without me hearing, "Alo. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Saturday, October 25, 2008
On Elections
Last Sunday, I went to a Field Day for adult foreigners in Japan. Craziness and fun ensued. The next day, muscle pain ensued. I was planning on having a nice, relaxing day of sleep. And that's when it started.
I know, I know, you're sick of elections already. After all, you've been hearing the campaigning for two years now. But I'll be complaining about Japanese elections, not American ones. The good thing about Japanese elections is that they are almost literally called one week and held the next. The bad thing about Japanese elections is the week between when they're called and when they're held.
The Japanese way of campaigning is quite different from the American one. There aren't a lot of expensive tv ads or the like (with only one week, it's kind of hard to make, schedule, and air them), so in order to get attention, they turn to the airwaves. No, not radio. Actual honest-to-God airwaves. They drive around in cars with gigantic speakers attached to the top and blare out campaign slogans. All day. For 7 days. At maximum volume. And lucky for me, this year, there are 23 candidates up for various elected positions, which means I get to hear 23 different people drive by and say, "Thank you, please vote for me!" All day. From 7:30am to 8pm.
So these 23 candidates all get jackets that are a bright, annoying colors, paint a car with their name and various slogans, then get 4 of their friends to drive around with them, then wave with white gloves (not kidding, they all wear white gloves) at passerby as they drive around the city. With 23 candidates and a small city, they sometimes cross paths, double the noise pollution. Invariably, one candidate will apologize and drive away, which everyone appreciates because by that point, all the china is shaking on the shelves. I always think better of the person who drives away. If I were running a campaign, that would be my strategy. I would drive around until I found another campaign vehicle, then act like the bigger person, apologize, and leave. Everyone would love me because they wouldn't hear from me.
Another annoying thing about these campaign cars is that they drive slow. And we're not talking, "5 or 10 miles under the speed limit" slow. We're talking, "Whoa, did that old lady with the walker just pass me?" slow. And they randomly stop completely so they can wave more vigorously at the old guy on his bike who is doing his best to completely ignore them. This just incites them to wave harder and crank up the volume on their speakers. Eventually, the old guy will acknowledge them just to get them to go away, and then the car will drive off, happily assured of having lost another 10 votes (the old guy plus the 9 cars that are backed up behind them whose drivers are now all angry and late for work). Again, if I was running for election, I'd go speed through the city at 80 miles an hour. Everyone would love me because I wouldn't be backing up traffic AND they could drive just behind me at 78 miles an hour and not have to worry about getting pulled over first!
Unfortunately, I can't even vote in Japan, let alone run for office. Ah, well. Fortunately, the elections are tomorrow, so I don't have to listen to this noise polution that much longer. I just have to worry about the motorcycle gang that's started to hang out near my train station. Most annoying thing in the world. I was tired on Sunday because of the exercise Saturday and the nonstop campaigning. I was finally ready to go to sleep Sunday night when the biker gang started to get feisty. I think they must not like the elections, either. I never thought I'd have anything in common with a biker gang, but there you go.
I know, I know, you're sick of elections already. After all, you've been hearing the campaigning for two years now. But I'll be complaining about Japanese elections, not American ones. The good thing about Japanese elections is that they are almost literally called one week and held the next. The bad thing about Japanese elections is the week between when they're called and when they're held.
The Japanese way of campaigning is quite different from the American one. There aren't a lot of expensive tv ads or the like (with only one week, it's kind of hard to make, schedule, and air them), so in order to get attention, they turn to the airwaves. No, not radio. Actual honest-to-God airwaves. They drive around in cars with gigantic speakers attached to the top and blare out campaign slogans. All day. For 7 days. At maximum volume. And lucky for me, this year, there are 23 candidates up for various elected positions, which means I get to hear 23 different people drive by and say, "Thank you, please vote for me!" All day. From 7:30am to 8pm.
So these 23 candidates all get jackets that are a bright, annoying colors, paint a car with their name and various slogans, then get 4 of their friends to drive around with them, then wave with white gloves (not kidding, they all wear white gloves) at passerby as they drive around the city. With 23 candidates and a small city, they sometimes cross paths, double the noise pollution. Invariably, one candidate will apologize and drive away, which everyone appreciates because by that point, all the china is shaking on the shelves. I always think better of the person who drives away. If I were running a campaign, that would be my strategy. I would drive around until I found another campaign vehicle, then act like the bigger person, apologize, and leave. Everyone would love me because they wouldn't hear from me.
Another annoying thing about these campaign cars is that they drive slow. And we're not talking, "5 or 10 miles under the speed limit" slow. We're talking, "Whoa, did that old lady with the walker just pass me?" slow. And they randomly stop completely so they can wave more vigorously at the old guy on his bike who is doing his best to completely ignore them. This just incites them to wave harder and crank up the volume on their speakers. Eventually, the old guy will acknowledge them just to get them to go away, and then the car will drive off, happily assured of having lost another 10 votes (the old guy plus the 9 cars that are backed up behind them whose drivers are now all angry and late for work). Again, if I was running for election, I'd go speed through the city at 80 miles an hour. Everyone would love me because I wouldn't be backing up traffic AND they could drive just behind me at 78 miles an hour and not have to worry about getting pulled over first!
Unfortunately, I can't even vote in Japan, let alone run for office. Ah, well. Fortunately, the elections are tomorrow, so I don't have to listen to this noise polution that much longer. I just have to worry about the motorcycle gang that's started to hang out near my train station. Most annoying thing in the world. I was tired on Sunday because of the exercise Saturday and the nonstop campaigning. I was finally ready to go to sleep Sunday night when the biker gang started to get feisty. I think they must not like the elections, either. I never thought I'd have anything in common with a biker gang, but there you go.
In the Headlines
I'm typing up another post as we speak, but for now I thought I'd post 2 articles detailing why I fear Japanese medical services.
Todai hospital also turned new mom away
The Yomiuri Shimbun
A pregnant woman who died of a brain hemorrhage after being refused emergency care by seven Tokyo hospitals also was refused admittance to Tokyo University Hospital, The Yomiuri Shimbun has learned.
The woman, 36, died three days after giving birth by emergency cesarean section and undergoing surgery for a cerebral hemorrhage at Metropolitan Bokuto Hospital in Sumida Ward, Tokyo, earlier this month.
Despite Tokyo University Hospital, in the capital's Bunkyo Ward, being designated as equivalent to a tertiary emergency medical facility for the treatment for critical patients, it said it refused to admit the woman because all the beds in its Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) were occupied.
Observers have noted that this situation again shows up insufficiencies in the nation's emergency care system.
The woman's regular doctor at the Gonohashi Obstetrics and Gynecology Hospital, a clinic in Koto Ward the woman visited regularly during her pregnancy, called seven hospitals on the evening of Oct. 4 to request they admit her. They all turned down the request.
The reasons cited included: "All the intensive care beds are full," and "The obstetrician is busy handling the delivery of a child."
According to the Gonohashi doctor and staff at the university hospital, the woman had complained of a headache and nausea while being transported in a Tokyo Fire Department ambulance. Believing she would be admitted by Tokyo University Hospital, her doctor and ambulance crew decided to try to have her accepted there.
When staff at the university hospital heard of the woman's condition, they decided the child would have to be admitted to its NICU following his or her birth. But all nine beds in the unit were reportedly full, so woman was refused admission.
The woman was taken to Metropolitan Bokuto Hospital, one of the facilities that had initially turned her away. She underwent a cesarean section at about 9:30 p.m., and had cerebral hemorrhage surgery at about 10 p.m. The child reportedly remains in good health, but the mother died three days later.
The sad thing is that this is not at all uncommon. I think I wrote this in an earlier post, but I'll write it again for emphasis. I had a friend in Japan who had appendicitis. She was turned away by 2 hospitals before her appendix burst and she was finally admitted by a third hospital.
Here's a new and innovative idea from a newspaper contributor.
Obstetrics, emergency depts must cooperate
Makiko Tatebayashi / Yomiuri Shimbun Staff Writer
In order to avoid a situation in which patients in need of emergency care are turned away by a succession of hospitals, improvements to the emergency treatment system must be made to ensure that key hospitals are able to accept patients around-the-clock.
Earlier this month, a pregnant woman suffered a brain hemorrhage and died after being refused by seven hospitals. Metropolitan Bokuto Hospital in Sumida Ward, Tokyo, initially refused a request to admit the woman, but later accepted her when it was contacted again, which prompts the question: Why did the hospital fail to swiftly admit the woman the first time?
Two years ago, a pregnant woman in Nara Prefecture died after being refused treatment from 19 hospitals. That woman also suffered a brain hemorrhage.
Now, I don't know a whole lot about hospitals in America, but I do know that I've never been worried about being turned away from a hospital there. In America, my home city hospital is willing to admit anyone, and within thirty minutes you can be assured, regardless of age, gender, or sexual preference, of being told that you pregnant. Mind you, it may not be the BEST medical care, but it IS always available. In Japan, there's just no guarantee that you'll even get in the hospital. If you get a horrible, festering wound in Japan, it's probably best just to go to the school nurse, who will sneeze on it and then but a bandaid over it. Seriously, it's no wonder people here live to be 1,000. They either die young or acquire an immunity to everything, including death.
Todai hospital also turned new mom away
The Yomiuri Shimbun
A pregnant woman who died of a brain hemorrhage after being refused emergency care by seven Tokyo hospitals also was refused admittance to Tokyo University Hospital, The Yomiuri Shimbun has learned.
The woman, 36, died three days after giving birth by emergency cesarean section and undergoing surgery for a cerebral hemorrhage at Metropolitan Bokuto Hospital in Sumida Ward, Tokyo, earlier this month.
Despite Tokyo University Hospital, in the capital's Bunkyo Ward, being designated as equivalent to a tertiary emergency medical facility for the treatment for critical patients, it said it refused to admit the woman because all the beds in its Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) were occupied.
Observers have noted that this situation again shows up insufficiencies in the nation's emergency care system.
The woman's regular doctor at the Gonohashi Obstetrics and Gynecology Hospital, a clinic in Koto Ward the woman visited regularly during her pregnancy, called seven hospitals on the evening of Oct. 4 to request they admit her. They all turned down the request.
The reasons cited included: "All the intensive care beds are full," and "The obstetrician is busy handling the delivery of a child."
According to the Gonohashi doctor and staff at the university hospital, the woman had complained of a headache and nausea while being transported in a Tokyo Fire Department ambulance. Believing she would be admitted by Tokyo University Hospital, her doctor and ambulance crew decided to try to have her accepted there.
When staff at the university hospital heard of the woman's condition, they decided the child would have to be admitted to its NICU following his or her birth. But all nine beds in the unit were reportedly full, so woman was refused admission.
The woman was taken to Metropolitan Bokuto Hospital, one of the facilities that had initially turned her away. She underwent a cesarean section at about 9:30 p.m., and had cerebral hemorrhage surgery at about 10 p.m. The child reportedly remains in good health, but the mother died three days later.
The sad thing is that this is not at all uncommon. I think I wrote this in an earlier post, but I'll write it again for emphasis. I had a friend in Japan who had appendicitis. She was turned away by 2 hospitals before her appendix burst and she was finally admitted by a third hospital.
Here's a new and innovative idea from a newspaper contributor.
Obstetrics, emergency depts must cooperate
Makiko Tatebayashi / Yomiuri Shimbun Staff Writer
In order to avoid a situation in which patients in need of emergency care are turned away by a succession of hospitals, improvements to the emergency treatment system must be made to ensure that key hospitals are able to accept patients around-the-clock.
Earlier this month, a pregnant woman suffered a brain hemorrhage and died after being refused by seven hospitals. Metropolitan Bokuto Hospital in Sumida Ward, Tokyo, initially refused a request to admit the woman, but later accepted her when it was contacted again, which prompts the question: Why did the hospital fail to swiftly admit the woman the first time?
Two years ago, a pregnant woman in Nara Prefecture died after being refused treatment from 19 hospitals. That woman also suffered a brain hemorrhage.
Now, I don't know a whole lot about hospitals in America, but I do know that I've never been worried about being turned away from a hospital there. In America, my home city hospital is willing to admit anyone, and within thirty minutes you can be assured, regardless of age, gender, or sexual preference, of being told that you pregnant. Mind you, it may not be the BEST medical care, but it IS always available. In Japan, there's just no guarantee that you'll even get in the hospital. If you get a horrible, festering wound in Japan, it's probably best just to go to the school nurse, who will sneeze on it and then but a bandaid over it. Seriously, it's no wonder people here live to be 1,000. They either die young or acquire an immunity to everything, including death.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
And more food. I love Italian food. It's simple, it's easy, it tastes good. How could anyone mess it up?
Is it wrong that I laughed at this one?
Pizza. Who can mess up pizza? It's dough with stuff on it.
Is it wrong that I laughed at this one?
Pizza. Who can mess up pizza? It's dough with stuff on it.
Stuff indeed. The upper pizza, as you can see, has broccoli, corn, potato salad, red peppers, and soggy bacon. Yummy.
The pizza here sports mushrooms, soggy bacon, corn, and red and green peppers, all topped with mayonnaise. What's that? You say it looks like there's scrambled eggs on that pizza? Don't be silly. Japanese pizza isn't THAT weird. That's actually egg salad. You silly people. Who would put SCRAMBLED eggs on a pizza? That's just gross.
The next two are from the school lunch Junior high school students and teachers get everyday. In Japanese, it's called "kyushoku", but the ALTs have lovingly renamed it "Spewshoku". Because it rhymes. And we're clever like that. Get it? Yeah, we have too much time on our hands.
Everyday, my kyushoku usually consists of milk, a bread loaf or bowl of rice, a bowl of soup or something, and some kind of meat (or fish - Japanese people classify meat and fish separately) and vegetable. This is a fairly typical school lunch. You will notice the tiny albino hot dogs. Scary, gross, and disgusting. I think they're actually made of fish. The lunch pictured below is second only to the lunch with the pasta, bread, and potato salad with soggy bacon. It's CARBtastic!
Here are the mysterious hot dog things again, tossed in a salad of boiled seaweed, cabbage, and corn. Looks like it's already been eaten, doesn't it?
All I can say is that you people can never call me a picky eater again.
Yea, it's a national holiday! And for once, I have nothing to do. Time to update my blog with pictures of wonderful Japanese foodstuffs.
I almost posted the picture upside down, but I caught myself just in time as I looked at the kanji writing. "Whew, that was a close one. I almost looked pretty stupid," I thought. And then I realized, "how would they know the difference?"
I'm sorry, I'm too American for this to ever, EVER look appetizing. Ever.
I almost posted the picture upside down, but I caught myself just in time as I looked at the kanji writing. "Whew, that was a close one. I almost looked pretty stupid," I thought. And then I realized, "how would they know the difference?"
I'm sorry, I'm too American for this to ever, EVER look appetizing. Ever.
This was in my school provided lunch one day. Kind of looks like moldy little bits of thin steak, doesn't it? But what is it really?
Yup, it's whale. And this helpful chart lets you know what part of the whale you're eating. Yum.
This actually looks quite disgusting to me with all the mushrooms and whatnot, and it's not helped along by the fact that there's a raw egg in a bowl next to it. But this is, by far, my favorite Japanese food. It's called Sukiyaki (okay, everyone my parent's age and older can stop singing that song now), and it's just a bunch of vegetables boiled in a sweet soy sauce. You get 4 or 5 people around a pot like this, and you add the vegetables and meat to the pot. Then everyone just reaches in with their chopsticks and pulls stuff out. Once you get something, you dip it in the raw egg in your bowl to cool it down a little, then eat it. Sounds gross, but my friends who visited 2 years ago can attest to the fact that it's actually really, really good.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
As we all know by now, when I say, "I'll update tonight," that means that the update will be in my head and will appear online in the next few weeks. This again won't be a very big update. I'm currently at work, with nothing to do as the teacher with whom I was supposed to teach today "forgot" me on his way to class. It's okay, though. I'm not bitter. I've been really busy lately, so I enjoy the free time. It's allowed me to get some important stuff done. In fact, I've almost completed my to-do checklist. All that's left is "Figure out if the Macarena starts with the left arm or right." If anyone could help me out with that one, I'd appreciate it.
On the Impending Speech Contests
Every year, there are several English Speech contests for junior high school students all over Japan. It starts in late September with district speech contests. Winners from that move on to the prefectural (state) contests, winners from that either move on to regional or to the national speech contest. Each school is allowed to send a few students to the district contests. Since I have 3 schools, that means I get to coach 6 students. Fun fun! Along with that, since I'm not in my third year in Japan, many nearby districts have asked that I help judge the speech contests for their district. I recently had a meeting with one such district. I'll be listening to and judging 27 speeches and 7 recitations. Since the speeches are judged on content as well as pronunciation, the district sent me all the speeches ahead of time so I could grade them on content.
I've started reading the speeches. Some are good, some are...not so good. In most cases, the students write their speeches in English, and the English teachers translate. The only problem is, many of the teachers don't have a grasp on the natural flow of the English langauge or on how speeches are written in English. Thus, many of the speeches lack a native speakers understanding of nuances and "real" English. I would feel bad for the teachers, but I don't. All of them have access to a native English speaker in the form of an ALT/AET (my job, remember?). Some of these teachers just decide not to ask their ALT for help. And thus you get a speech with the following quote. While the word choice makes sense, and is indeed very "slang" and "natural," using it in a very formal, serious speech contest was perhaps not the best choice.
"He [the speechwriter's dog] sometimes breaks our family rules. When I leave him home alone, he pisses everywhere in my house."
On the Impending Speech Contests
Every year, there are several English Speech contests for junior high school students all over Japan. It starts in late September with district speech contests. Winners from that move on to the prefectural (state) contests, winners from that either move on to regional or to the national speech contest. Each school is allowed to send a few students to the district contests. Since I have 3 schools, that means I get to coach 6 students. Fun fun! Along with that, since I'm not in my third year in Japan, many nearby districts have asked that I help judge the speech contests for their district. I recently had a meeting with one such district. I'll be listening to and judging 27 speeches and 7 recitations. Since the speeches are judged on content as well as pronunciation, the district sent me all the speeches ahead of time so I could grade them on content.
I've started reading the speeches. Some are good, some are...not so good. In most cases, the students write their speeches in English, and the English teachers translate. The only problem is, many of the teachers don't have a grasp on the natural flow of the English langauge or on how speeches are written in English. Thus, many of the speeches lack a native speakers understanding of nuances and "real" English. I would feel bad for the teachers, but I don't. All of them have access to a native English speaker in the form of an ALT/AET (my job, remember?). Some of these teachers just decide not to ask their ALT for help. And thus you get a speech with the following quote. While the word choice makes sense, and is indeed very "slang" and "natural," using it in a very formal, serious speech contest was perhaps not the best choice.
"He [the speechwriter's dog] sometimes breaks our family rules. When I leave him home alone, he pisses everywhere in my house."
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Another new entry
Coming soon to a blog near you. I'll update tonight if I haven't melted into a little pile of goo by then. For now, here's a great quote.
The new ALT in my city was asking some of the office ladies about Japanese life. Talk turned to the section cheifs in our office, all of whom are quite old men. "What do Japanese men do after they retire?" the new ALT asked. After a lengthy pause and some debate in Japanese, one of the ladies replied, "Get divorced."
The new ALT in my city was asking some of the office ladies about Japanese life. Talk turned to the section cheifs in our office, all of whom are quite old men. "What do Japanese men do after they retire?" the new ALT asked. After a lengthy pause and some debate in Japanese, one of the ladies replied, "Get divorced."
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
I'm not going to post a huge update here - I'm just going to post this video for now.
This is my nephew Kai. He is the most adorable child ever. He's six months old, and he's just discovered a new noise which you'll hear a the beginning of the video (the growling noise which his father then copies back at him). You'll also get to see him try a new food - bananas. He obviously LOVES bananas.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Massive Entry on the new school year
Part San - Sorry, this is a long post.
So lucky me, I had a ton of teacher changes this year. And they weren’t all for the better. You saw the line-up of old teachers.
At the end of the first week, the schools officially announce which teachers will be staying and which teachers will be leaving. I missed one change, much to my chagrin. Freddy, my beloved Freddy, was leaving Cromartie. Due to my mis-reading his name (his name was written in kanji, and when I was reading it, I accidentally switched the characters in my head, and thus thought a teacher I had never heard of didn’t care about, was leaving. I was wrong), I didn’t realize that he was leaving and thus never had time to say a proper goodbye to him. This lack of closure led to a bizarre, and in retrospect slightly troubling, incident wherein I almost started crying in another class because Freddy was gone. Freddy used to bring his guitar in and sing Beatles songs with his students; one of my other teachers did this one day, and my eyes started tearing up. I didn’t even know I was that attached to Freddy until then.
Also creating much sadness and despair, Oneesan was leaving Cromartie as well. The two best English teachers in Cromartie, and maybe the two best English teachers I ever worked with, were gone. Great. But I had decided that my theme for this year would be: Stay Positive. In my second year here, I had quite a long bit of culture shock that resulted in me being very negative and angry. So for this new school year, I decided to keep a positive mindset and always see the good in things.
In that line of thought, PD sensei from my Base school was leaving. Yea! No more hovering and over-translating and bad coffee/tea breath! No more randomly grabbing my arm in a vice-like grip. No more hand-shaped bruises on my arms! See? Something positive came out of this. Every thing is sunny and smelling of roses!
In other news, Svelt and Dependent sensei left the Ghetto school. Can’t say I was really sad to see Dependent sensei go. But Svelt, well, Svelt I would miss. He had really made my life more bearable at the Ghetto school. Now I could only hope that some new and great people were moving in.
Hahahaha…
Staying positive. Staying positive. I’m sure loads of handsome, young, smart, English-speaking teachers were going to come pouring into my schools. Yup. And I’m going to start losing weight every time I eat ice cream.
I found out that both Dependent sensei and Svelt were being transferred to Cromartie. That worried me slightly. I was sure that Dependent sensei would keep relying on Svelt sensei and that he would never be able to figure out how to teach because he would always be teaching with her. Luckily, the principal of that school decided to give them each separate grades to teach, so that worked out. It was good that Svelt was replacing Oneesan because I really needed a nice teacher who would talk to me at that school.
I can’t decide the order of the next announcements, so I’ll go with the school with the least amount of changes first. My Base school. Hurrah. So as I said PD sensei left, and was replaced by another part-time teacher. Can you guess who? Can you guess who? This is karma trying to slap me in the face. This is what happens when I try to think positive, happy thoughts. I thought I had gotten rid of him. He left for good. He went to teach at another school as a part-time teacher there. I gave him flowers at the going-away party. That means he wasn’t supposed to come back, dammit! He was wussy, he was girly, he was annoying. Yes, friends, witness the triumphant return of Mr. Passivity! Back in all his worrying, sniveling, whimpering wonder. Crap. At the welcome party for my Base school, he did his darndest to avoid me at all costs. He sat right across from me, and anytime I would turn to talk to him or ask to translate something for me, he would suddenly turn in the opposite direction and offer to pour someone a drink. Nice to see that some things never change.
My last school. My worst school. The only school where I had almost lost it in a class and started yelling. The Ghetto school. There were 2 vacancies at the Ghetto school now, and I was worried about who would come in. The only teacher there was Rabbit sensei, and I had seen how her lack of classroom management had ruined the English of 2 years of students. So imagine how surprised I was when I talked to her and found out that she was only going to teach one elective English class (and a part-time special needs class) and that the other 2 teachers were going to teach all 3 grades of English (why does the Ghetto school do this? Their students’ English is worse than any other school, and I can only think that it has something to do with their being the only school to assign teachers multiple grades to teach. It seems like easy math to me: 3 English teachers + 3 grades = 1 teacher per grade). I was even more confused when I found out that a teacher from Cromartie would be teaching English at the Ghetto school. The reason for my confusion was that he was a gijutsu teacher – the equivalent to the Industrial Tech. teacher. Now riddle me this, riddle me that. When you have a certified English teacher in your school, why then would you choose to make the Industrial Tech. teacher be the English teacher and the English teacher be the Special Needs teacher? Why? Whywhywhy? Who, in their infinite stupidity, decided that this sounded like a good idea? The only person to whom this would make sense would be someone under the influence of alcohol. Way, WAY under the influence of alcohol. And I mean to the point of alcohol poisoning. But, in my newfound positive mindset, I decided not to make judgments ahead of time. Maybe he would turn out to be an absolutely amazing English teacher. Maybe he would have hidden depths. Maybe he couldn’t find an English teaching job and so had to settle for teaching Industrial tech all these years. Maybe I will lose weight every time I just look at my treadmill.
So staying positive, I sent an email to Oneesan to see what her opinion of this guy was. Her response?
“He is a little strange teacher. Good luck, Jessica.” And here she inserted the most evil smiley face that I’ve ever seen, but it unfortunately can’t be reproduced on the computer. Needless to say, I was very encouraged. (She later told me that he had quite the reputation for being “difficult to work with”, which doesn’t sound TOO bad until you run that through a Japanese/English translator and realize that she was saying, “He’s a &^*#^$@ and he’s crazy and absolutely NO ONE likes working with him.”).
And now, after teaching quite a few classes with this teacher, I realize that it’s worse than I originally thought. His English is horrendous. I can’t understand what he says in English. And his Japanese is strange. You’d really have to speak a bit of Japanese for me to explain it, but he just uses strange, strange words. When he speaks to me in class, he often uses Japanese. He’ll command me or order me to do something instead of asking, and he’ll often do it in Japanese. This makes the students then think it’s okay to address me in Japanese. One of the primary reasons that I’m in Japan is so that students can get to talk to a native English speaker in English. Using Japanese as our primary communicative language kind of shoots a hole in that. This teacher is just bad. Really, really bad. And he randomly yells at the students for no reason at all. During one activity, he felt that the boys and girls weren’t talking to each other enough (come on, dude, they’re 12 years old. They’re just starting to get over the whole cooties things), so he yelled at them to sit down, then yelled at them for 10 minutes. And I mean yelled. Spittle was flying (I considered handing students books or something to put up as spittle shields, but I figured that this might make him even angrier), his voice was cracking he was screaming so loud, and other teachers were opening their doors to see what was up. And the worst part was that he kept mentioning me, and I have no idea why or what he was saying. There would be a long, random, loud string of Japanese, followed by my name, followed by more Japanese. He was probably telling the students that I was angry with them or something (which I wasn’t. I was about to go smack him upside the head and tell him to let it go – just because no girls wanted to talk to him in junior high didn’t mean that he needed to yell at them now as a way of getting revenge). And every once in awhile, he’d turn for me and ask for confirmation in Japanese. About 3 minutes in, I stopped paying attention and just sat down, figuring he’d peter out eventually.
In my professional opinion, the man is an idiot - an unstable, bipolar, crazy idiot. You wouldn’t want to know my personal opinion. And I think that the best part of having him at this new school is that his desk sits right next to mine. Yes, joy beyond all joys, he sits next to me. Usually, I can ignore (Defense #1) the people next to me, but he refuses to be ignored. The first day I was there, he sat next to me during lunch and stared at me for literally 10 minutes. I tried not to make eye contact (Defense #2)– I hear this works when bears are attacking. However, apparently as he is not a bear (slight oversight on my part), he came out with the comment, “You use chopsticks very well. I am surprised you can use chopsticks.” Now, this comment sounds harmless, but try to realize that I have been at the same school as this man for 2 SOLID YEARS. How did he think I was getting nourishment if I couldn’t use chopsticks? I haven’t been getting fat on air alone. And the fact that it was preceded by 10 minutes of staring was someone off-putting as well. After that stunning starter, he started talking to me in some weird mix of Japanese and English. And still to this day, after replaying the conversation over and over and over in my head, I have absolutely NO IDEA what he was talking about. Something about how American school kids used to behave badly in the 1980’s but are getting better now (don’t know where he got this idea – maybe Brat Pack movies of the 80’s?), unlike Japanese students, who were good and are getting worse. Or something like that. I’m not entirely sure. Eventually, I just agreed with him to get him to stop talking to me (Defense #3). And ever since then, whenever I see that he’ll be eating lunch in the staffroom, I down my lunch in literally 2 minutes, bolt out of the staff room, drive to a nearby store, buy a coffee, and sit in peace and quiet for 20 mintues. And I hate coffee. But I’m willing to drink it if it lets me get away from him. I guess being around him drives me to drink.
Positive thoughts. I’m thinking positive thoughts. I’m going to my happy place. Relax, relax… (when I’ve gotten stressed lately, M sensei has taken it upon herself to ask if I want her to run out and buy some aroma therapy candles. It’s getting easier to tell who’s worked with me based on their understanding of sarcasm). I guess on the positive side, I can still depend on the Ghetto school to make me not want to come to work. Everybody likes consistency, right?
Anywho, we’re calling this new teacher Patsy, and I’ll give a Japanese dollar to anyone who can figure out the word association that lead to that name.
The only bright point in my life right now is the other new teacher at the Ghetto school. He is possibly the best teacher I’ve ever observed, and that includes teachers in America. When I first came to the Ghetto school to just say hello to the new teachers, he sat down with me for 25 minutes to talk about team teaching and his experiences and what he expects, etc. He told me his background in education, and everything. This is incredibly rare. Most teacher can’t even find 25 seconds to talk to their ALT, and if they can, they say, “Here’s the lesson plan for next week” or “Can you plan the lesson for next week.” So I was blown away by his willingness to just sit and chat. His English wasn’t the best, but he was absolutely fearless using it. He’s not embarrassed at all. There’s a half-Japanese half-Canadian student in one of his classes. He loves it. He treats the kid as a half-teacher during English classes, and doesn’t mind at all if the kid corrects his English. And during this teacher’s self-introduction to his students, he used almost all English. And they paid attention. And they understood most of it. It was amazing. This class is the one that almost made me go insane and start yelling and throwing things. This class has never behaved before. Ever. I don’t think they know what it means to behave. Rabbit sensei couldn’t do anything to stop them from being little turd-muffins. And this guy came in, and right away got control of the class almost instantly. His classroom management skills are amazing. You can tell he loves to teach, he loves to use English, and he’s really, really great with junior high students. He instantly developed a relationship with them, and most of them really respect him and listen when he tells them to be quiet. He great and amazing and he’s married, dammit. And he has 2 kids.
Seriously, I have to stop myself from randomly hugging this guy. He teaches both the grades that Rabbit sensei did last year, and they have completely turned around. Students who ignored me last year or muttered “Ohayo” now say “Good morning!” when they see me (sometimes it’s in the afternoon when this happens, but hey, I’ll take it). I now no longer dread these classes. I just dread the other classes with Patsy. We’ll call this other new guy Metabo sensei, for lack of a better name (in his self-intro, he said that he loved fried foods, but he’s getting “chotto metabo” [a little fat], so he’s on a diet. He also told a cute story about his daughter who’s now in 1st grade and refuses to go to the bathroom at school because she was told that the girls toilets were haunted. So now the poor thing is terrified to go).
So there they are. My new teachers. The only great change was Metabo sensei. Everything else kept the status quo or just made things worse. I guess I shouldn’t complain. I know a lot of ALTs have horrible teaching experiences. (Patsy just walked in the room, making me feel that NO ONE in the HISTORY of BEING an ENGLISH TEACHER has EVER HAD TO DEAL with someone as STUPID and INCOMPETENT at teaching as HIM. Seriously, Rabbit was annoying and all, but I never had fantasies of smacking her upside the head). Staying positive! I’m positive this will be a great school year!
Base school
M Sensei
O Sensei
Mr. Passivity
Cromartie
Ice Queen
Dependent Sensei
Svelt
Ghetto
Patsy
Metabo
So lucky me, I had a ton of teacher changes this year. And they weren’t all for the better. You saw the line-up of old teachers.
At the end of the first week, the schools officially announce which teachers will be staying and which teachers will be leaving. I missed one change, much to my chagrin. Freddy, my beloved Freddy, was leaving Cromartie. Due to my mis-reading his name (his name was written in kanji, and when I was reading it, I accidentally switched the characters in my head, and thus thought a teacher I had never heard of didn’t care about, was leaving. I was wrong), I didn’t realize that he was leaving and thus never had time to say a proper goodbye to him. This lack of closure led to a bizarre, and in retrospect slightly troubling, incident wherein I almost started crying in another class because Freddy was gone. Freddy used to bring his guitar in and sing Beatles songs with his students; one of my other teachers did this one day, and my eyes started tearing up. I didn’t even know I was that attached to Freddy until then.
Also creating much sadness and despair, Oneesan was leaving Cromartie as well. The two best English teachers in Cromartie, and maybe the two best English teachers I ever worked with, were gone. Great. But I had decided that my theme for this year would be: Stay Positive. In my second year here, I had quite a long bit of culture shock that resulted in me being very negative and angry. So for this new school year, I decided to keep a positive mindset and always see the good in things.
In that line of thought, PD sensei from my Base school was leaving. Yea! No more hovering and over-translating and bad coffee/tea breath! No more randomly grabbing my arm in a vice-like grip. No more hand-shaped bruises on my arms! See? Something positive came out of this. Every thing is sunny and smelling of roses!
In other news, Svelt and Dependent sensei left the Ghetto school. Can’t say I was really sad to see Dependent sensei go. But Svelt, well, Svelt I would miss. He had really made my life more bearable at the Ghetto school. Now I could only hope that some new and great people were moving in.
Hahahaha…
Staying positive. Staying positive. I’m sure loads of handsome, young, smart, English-speaking teachers were going to come pouring into my schools. Yup. And I’m going to start losing weight every time I eat ice cream.
I found out that both Dependent sensei and Svelt were being transferred to Cromartie. That worried me slightly. I was sure that Dependent sensei would keep relying on Svelt sensei and that he would never be able to figure out how to teach because he would always be teaching with her. Luckily, the principal of that school decided to give them each separate grades to teach, so that worked out. It was good that Svelt was replacing Oneesan because I really needed a nice teacher who would talk to me at that school.
I can’t decide the order of the next announcements, so I’ll go with the school with the least amount of changes first. My Base school. Hurrah. So as I said PD sensei left, and was replaced by another part-time teacher. Can you guess who? Can you guess who? This is karma trying to slap me in the face. This is what happens when I try to think positive, happy thoughts. I thought I had gotten rid of him. He left for good. He went to teach at another school as a part-time teacher there. I gave him flowers at the going-away party. That means he wasn’t supposed to come back, dammit! He was wussy, he was girly, he was annoying. Yes, friends, witness the triumphant return of Mr. Passivity! Back in all his worrying, sniveling, whimpering wonder. Crap. At the welcome party for my Base school, he did his darndest to avoid me at all costs. He sat right across from me, and anytime I would turn to talk to him or ask to translate something for me, he would suddenly turn in the opposite direction and offer to pour someone a drink. Nice to see that some things never change.
My last school. My worst school. The only school where I had almost lost it in a class and started yelling. The Ghetto school. There were 2 vacancies at the Ghetto school now, and I was worried about who would come in. The only teacher there was Rabbit sensei, and I had seen how her lack of classroom management had ruined the English of 2 years of students. So imagine how surprised I was when I talked to her and found out that she was only going to teach one elective English class (and a part-time special needs class) and that the other 2 teachers were going to teach all 3 grades of English (why does the Ghetto school do this? Their students’ English is worse than any other school, and I can only think that it has something to do with their being the only school to assign teachers multiple grades to teach. It seems like easy math to me: 3 English teachers + 3 grades = 1 teacher per grade). I was even more confused when I found out that a teacher from Cromartie would be teaching English at the Ghetto school. The reason for my confusion was that he was a gijutsu teacher – the equivalent to the Industrial Tech. teacher. Now riddle me this, riddle me that. When you have a certified English teacher in your school, why then would you choose to make the Industrial Tech. teacher be the English teacher and the English teacher be the Special Needs teacher? Why? Whywhywhy? Who, in their infinite stupidity, decided that this sounded like a good idea? The only person to whom this would make sense would be someone under the influence of alcohol. Way, WAY under the influence of alcohol. And I mean to the point of alcohol poisoning. But, in my newfound positive mindset, I decided not to make judgments ahead of time. Maybe he would turn out to be an absolutely amazing English teacher. Maybe he would have hidden depths. Maybe he couldn’t find an English teaching job and so had to settle for teaching Industrial tech all these years. Maybe I will lose weight every time I just look at my treadmill.
So staying positive, I sent an email to Oneesan to see what her opinion of this guy was. Her response?
“He is a little strange teacher. Good luck, Jessica.” And here she inserted the most evil smiley face that I’ve ever seen, but it unfortunately can’t be reproduced on the computer. Needless to say, I was very encouraged. (She later told me that he had quite the reputation for being “difficult to work with”, which doesn’t sound TOO bad until you run that through a Japanese/English translator and realize that she was saying, “He’s a &^*#^$@ and he’s crazy and absolutely NO ONE likes working with him.”).
And now, after teaching quite a few classes with this teacher, I realize that it’s worse than I originally thought. His English is horrendous. I can’t understand what he says in English. And his Japanese is strange. You’d really have to speak a bit of Japanese for me to explain it, but he just uses strange, strange words. When he speaks to me in class, he often uses Japanese. He’ll command me or order me to do something instead of asking, and he’ll often do it in Japanese. This makes the students then think it’s okay to address me in Japanese. One of the primary reasons that I’m in Japan is so that students can get to talk to a native English speaker in English. Using Japanese as our primary communicative language kind of shoots a hole in that. This teacher is just bad. Really, really bad. And he randomly yells at the students for no reason at all. During one activity, he felt that the boys and girls weren’t talking to each other enough (come on, dude, they’re 12 years old. They’re just starting to get over the whole cooties things), so he yelled at them to sit down, then yelled at them for 10 minutes. And I mean yelled. Spittle was flying (I considered handing students books or something to put up as spittle shields, but I figured that this might make him even angrier), his voice was cracking he was screaming so loud, and other teachers were opening their doors to see what was up. And the worst part was that he kept mentioning me, and I have no idea why or what he was saying. There would be a long, random, loud string of Japanese, followed by my name, followed by more Japanese. He was probably telling the students that I was angry with them or something (which I wasn’t. I was about to go smack him upside the head and tell him to let it go – just because no girls wanted to talk to him in junior high didn’t mean that he needed to yell at them now as a way of getting revenge). And every once in awhile, he’d turn for me and ask for confirmation in Japanese. About 3 minutes in, I stopped paying attention and just sat down, figuring he’d peter out eventually.
In my professional opinion, the man is an idiot - an unstable, bipolar, crazy idiot. You wouldn’t want to know my personal opinion. And I think that the best part of having him at this new school is that his desk sits right next to mine. Yes, joy beyond all joys, he sits next to me. Usually, I can ignore (Defense #1) the people next to me, but he refuses to be ignored. The first day I was there, he sat next to me during lunch and stared at me for literally 10 minutes. I tried not to make eye contact (Defense #2)– I hear this works when bears are attacking. However, apparently as he is not a bear (slight oversight on my part), he came out with the comment, “You use chopsticks very well. I am surprised you can use chopsticks.” Now, this comment sounds harmless, but try to realize that I have been at the same school as this man for 2 SOLID YEARS. How did he think I was getting nourishment if I couldn’t use chopsticks? I haven’t been getting fat on air alone. And the fact that it was preceded by 10 minutes of staring was someone off-putting as well. After that stunning starter, he started talking to me in some weird mix of Japanese and English. And still to this day, after replaying the conversation over and over and over in my head, I have absolutely NO IDEA what he was talking about. Something about how American school kids used to behave badly in the 1980’s but are getting better now (don’t know where he got this idea – maybe Brat Pack movies of the 80’s?), unlike Japanese students, who were good and are getting worse. Or something like that. I’m not entirely sure. Eventually, I just agreed with him to get him to stop talking to me (Defense #3). And ever since then, whenever I see that he’ll be eating lunch in the staffroom, I down my lunch in literally 2 minutes, bolt out of the staff room, drive to a nearby store, buy a coffee, and sit in peace and quiet for 20 mintues. And I hate coffee. But I’m willing to drink it if it lets me get away from him. I guess being around him drives me to drink.
Positive thoughts. I’m thinking positive thoughts. I’m going to my happy place. Relax, relax… (when I’ve gotten stressed lately, M sensei has taken it upon herself to ask if I want her to run out and buy some aroma therapy candles. It’s getting easier to tell who’s worked with me based on their understanding of sarcasm). I guess on the positive side, I can still depend on the Ghetto school to make me not want to come to work. Everybody likes consistency, right?
Anywho, we’re calling this new teacher Patsy, and I’ll give a Japanese dollar to anyone who can figure out the word association that lead to that name.
The only bright point in my life right now is the other new teacher at the Ghetto school. He is possibly the best teacher I’ve ever observed, and that includes teachers in America. When I first came to the Ghetto school to just say hello to the new teachers, he sat down with me for 25 minutes to talk about team teaching and his experiences and what he expects, etc. He told me his background in education, and everything. This is incredibly rare. Most teacher can’t even find 25 seconds to talk to their ALT, and if they can, they say, “Here’s the lesson plan for next week” or “Can you plan the lesson for next week.” So I was blown away by his willingness to just sit and chat. His English wasn’t the best, but he was absolutely fearless using it. He’s not embarrassed at all. There’s a half-Japanese half-Canadian student in one of his classes. He loves it. He treats the kid as a half-teacher during English classes, and doesn’t mind at all if the kid corrects his English. And during this teacher’s self-introduction to his students, he used almost all English. And they paid attention. And they understood most of it. It was amazing. This class is the one that almost made me go insane and start yelling and throwing things. This class has never behaved before. Ever. I don’t think they know what it means to behave. Rabbit sensei couldn’t do anything to stop them from being little turd-muffins. And this guy came in, and right away got control of the class almost instantly. His classroom management skills are amazing. You can tell he loves to teach, he loves to use English, and he’s really, really great with junior high students. He instantly developed a relationship with them, and most of them really respect him and listen when he tells them to be quiet. He great and amazing and he’s married, dammit. And he has 2 kids.
Seriously, I have to stop myself from randomly hugging this guy. He teaches both the grades that Rabbit sensei did last year, and they have completely turned around. Students who ignored me last year or muttered “Ohayo” now say “Good morning!” when they see me (sometimes it’s in the afternoon when this happens, but hey, I’ll take it). I now no longer dread these classes. I just dread the other classes with Patsy. We’ll call this other new guy Metabo sensei, for lack of a better name (in his self-intro, he said that he loved fried foods, but he’s getting “chotto metabo” [a little fat], so he’s on a diet. He also told a cute story about his daughter who’s now in 1st grade and refuses to go to the bathroom at school because she was told that the girls toilets were haunted. So now the poor thing is terrified to go).
So there they are. My new teachers. The only great change was Metabo sensei. Everything else kept the status quo or just made things worse. I guess I shouldn’t complain. I know a lot of ALTs have horrible teaching experiences. (Patsy just walked in the room, making me feel that NO ONE in the HISTORY of BEING an ENGLISH TEACHER has EVER HAD TO DEAL with someone as STUPID and INCOMPETENT at teaching as HIM. Seriously, Rabbit was annoying and all, but I never had fantasies of smacking her upside the head). Staying positive! I’m positive this will be a great school year!
Base school
M Sensei
O Sensei
Mr. Passivity
Cromartie
Ice Queen
Dependent Sensei
Svelt
Ghetto
Patsy
Metabo
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
A picture is worth a thousand words
I was playing around with my cell phone the other day and realized I had a few pictures I wanted to share, but had never posted. Here are a few of them. Remember, the ones with writing are from Japan, so the English isn't the best (which is why they're funny). There are two names for this type of very strange English - my favorite is Engrish, so that is what I'll refer to it as.
The first one here is rather risque, so read at your own risk.
This was found at a 7-11 type store called Lawsons. In case you can't read, it says "Attention to all manly men!! Lawson proposes a fresh and new product category of mysterious, yet sexual supplements. They are the love magic for couples, the drive source for men, and the necessary elements for the world of today. We guarantee different d?????? Try them out!" I just loved this for the first line.
The first one here is rather risque, so read at your own risk.
This was found at a 7-11 type store called Lawsons. In case you can't read, it says "Attention to all manly men!! Lawson proposes a fresh and new product category of mysterious, yet sexual supplements. They are the love magic for couples, the drive source for men, and the necessary elements for the world of today. We guarantee different d?????? Try them out!" I just loved this for the first line.
Mmmm...looks tasty, don't it? My first impression was that it was a brain in jello. It was actually the dessert at my welcome party in Japan 2 years ago. It's a jello/jelly substance with a pickled plum in the middle. Mmmm....
In Japan, there is a holiday in May that used to be called "Boy's Day" but is now, for PC reasons, called "Children's Day." For this holiday, people display toy models of ancient samurai armour. And it ain't cheap, either. Check out the price tag - $1,195. Granted, you only buy one or two of these in a life-time, but still...
I was shopping the other day and happened across this shirt. I just had to take a picture.
Woohoo! So now I've figured out how to post pictures on blogger. Yea! Maybe my posts will be more visually exciting from now on.
Again with a short blurb. Sorry. Blogging is not the foremost concern on my mind. Of more pressing concern is the current whereabouts of somewhere around 8,000 gallons of liquid. You see, I got really thirsty after an elementary school visit the other day, so I stopped by a 7-11 and got some things to drink. 4 waters bottles, 1 carton of chocolate milk, and 1 jug of aquarius (like gatorade) later, I was still thirsty. I tried to hold off drinking after 8pm because whenever I so much as look at liquid after 8pm, I get up at 2am and 4 am to complete a vital part of the water cycle. However, I was so thirsty that I couldn't stop myself from drinking about 3 water bottles worth of water between 8pm and 11pm. I went to sleep, but left the door to the bedroom open, figuring that I would be pretty much living in the bathroom that night. Frighteningly enough, I slept through the night and woke up refreshed at 7am. And with a surprisingly empty-feeling bladder. And no, I did not wet the bed, thank you very much. Skip forward to today (1 and 1/2 days later). Without going into too much detail, I have to say that I haven't been spending quite the amount of quality time with the porcelin god that I was expecting. I seriously have to wonder where all that liquid went. Maybe one of my legs is hallow? Maybe I've been sweating WAY more than I thought? Maybe a black hole is forming in my stomach? Any way you look at it, it's got to be effecting my mind. Why else would I inform everyone I know via my blog that I haven't gone potty enough? I'm sure I won't hear about this from my mom when I come home.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Interlude
Yes! Another month has passed between blogs! I'm getting good at this delayed posting stuff. I do have most of the second half of the last post written; however, it is at home and I am currently at school. So I guess I'll just post some random stories and news articles. Hopefully I'll have time to post the second half of the last post sometime this week.
ON MEDICAL ADVANCES
So let's start off with this nice news article I just found today. Many people often wonder why I fear Japan's medical services. People figure that since Japan is so technologically advanced that their medical profession must be as well.
"A woman in her 80s died in Hyogo Prefectural Nishinomiya Hospital in March after an intern inserted a feeding tube, which was supposed to deliver nutrients directly to the woman's stomach, into her lung instead, the hospital said Wednesday. "
Lungs, stomach, they're all the same, right? It's all internal. The thing about Japanese medicine that worries me is that all doctors go to a generic "doctor school." Once they graduate, they can choose to be a doctor of whatever they want - they can be a dentist, eye doctor, etc., regardless of how much of that area they have actually studied. So you can potentially have an optometrist who has only taken 1 3-credit hour class about eyes. He can even perform LASIK eye surgery on you, even if he really hasn't had lots of training. I fear Japanese dentists because I just KNOW that if I go in, I'll walk out with wooden teeth.
ON THE POWER OF ADVERTISING
"The Yomiuri Shimbun
At least 29 people who went to forests at the foot of Mt. Fuji to commit suicide changed their minds after seeing a sign put up by an organization of loan shark victims about a year ago.
The sign reads, "Your loan problem can definitely be solved," and carries a telephone number for a 24-hour consultation service. The sign was put up by a national liaison council of associations of loan shark victims based in Kanda, Tokyo, in an attempt to prevent those troubled by financial difficulties from committing suicide. "
Now THAT'S what I call effective advertising.
ON PREMEDITATION
In March, there was a big news story about a man who killed one person, then stabbed a few more at a train station in Japan. He apparently sent several emails to police before he committed the murders, daring them to stop him. A few days after he was apprehended, the following news article appeared in the Daily Yomiuri.
"MITO--A man who is suspected to have fatally stabbed one person and injured seven others Sunday in Tsuchiura, Ibaraki Prefecture, and who was arrested on suspicion of murdering a man four days earlier, may have been planning to commit the murders, police said Monday. (Mar.25)"
Which is a stunning revelation in and of itself, but it was nicely followed up by this one.
"MITO--The eight plainclothes police officers posted in and around JR Arakawaoki Station on the lookout for a man wanted for murder were not equipped with radios and thus were unable to coordinate their actions when the man they were seeking went on a stabbing spree in the station area, it was learned Monday."
Apparently, the police were all over the train station (remember, the guy called and emailed them before hand, telling them where he would be), but for some reason, they didn't think to carry radios. So when this guy encountered one of them, he just turned and ran to a different part of the station and stabbed someone else. The only thing I can really think to say is, "Duh." I think that covers it rather nicely.
ON BEING CAMERA SHY
And while we're on the topic of police, I have another article. A few days before this next article was posted in the Daily Yomiuri, there was a story of a 70-something year old man who was taken into questioning by police and somehow "accidentally" broke his fingers and 2 ribs while in the station. People suspected possible police brutality. You think? The police in Japan have often been accused of forcing confessions from suspects, often using violence, threats, or plain old guilt. I started to write a long summary of this, then realized I could just insert comments in the article itself.
"The nation's criminal justice system is in a quandary over how to change the way police interrogate suspects ahead of the introduction of the lay-judge system for criminal trials and in the wake of a series of recent revelations [these "revelations" have been coming out for over 30 years; don't know if I'd consider that "recent"] of coercive police questioning that resulted in false charges.
As the National Police Agency released new guidelines to ensure proper investigation Thursday, the focus of the debates will shift to whether the practice of making audio or video recordings of police interrogations of suspects should be introduced.
[...]
A report released this month by a group of judges studying the issue also predicted that if the introduction of recordings leads to stricter selection of evidence, the average period of criminal trials could be shortened to four to eight days from the current period of between 16 and 39 months. [holy crap that's a long trial] NPA officials were initially reluctant to drastically review interrogation practices. [no kidding]
[...]
Though the NPA explained the situation to all 47 prefectural police forces, a sizable number of police investigators expressed embarrassment, saying that filming of interrogation sessions will make it more difficult to get suspects to trust them. [read: more difficult for the officers to beat the suspects]
Because police officers in Japan are not given the authority to carry out as broad a range of activities as their counterparts in other countries, investigators have developed techniques ["techniques"] to make suspects ["]voluntarily["] confess. For example, investigators have tried to ["]guide["] suspects into a sense of remorse by asking about their personal worries and life history.
It is also predicted that gang members will hesitate to confess, if all conversations in the interrogation room might be recorded and replayed in a court.
Requiring that all interrogations be recorded may make investigations more difficult and result in poorer public safety conditions."
To sum up - the courts are talking about requiring the police to tape/record interrogations; the police say that will damage their "trust" with the people they interrogate. Ummm... okay. Does this sound like they're worried about being found out, or am I just overly suspicious?
Well, that's all I guess for now. That was a longer post than originally intended (as they all are). I'll try to update again in the next few days. But I always say that, don't I?
ON MEDICAL ADVANCES
So let's start off with this nice news article I just found today. Many people often wonder why I fear Japan's medical services. People figure that since Japan is so technologically advanced that their medical profession must be as well.
"A woman in her 80s died in Hyogo Prefectural Nishinomiya Hospital in March after an intern inserted a feeding tube, which was supposed to deliver nutrients directly to the woman's stomach, into her lung instead, the hospital said Wednesday. "
Lungs, stomach, they're all the same, right? It's all internal. The thing about Japanese medicine that worries me is that all doctors go to a generic "doctor school." Once they graduate, they can choose to be a doctor of whatever they want - they can be a dentist, eye doctor, etc., regardless of how much of that area they have actually studied. So you can potentially have an optometrist who has only taken 1 3-credit hour class about eyes. He can even perform LASIK eye surgery on you, even if he really hasn't had lots of training. I fear Japanese dentists because I just KNOW that if I go in, I'll walk out with wooden teeth.
ON THE POWER OF ADVERTISING
"The Yomiuri Shimbun
At least 29 people who went to forests at the foot of Mt. Fuji to commit suicide changed their minds after seeing a sign put up by an organization of loan shark victims about a year ago.
The sign reads, "Your loan problem can definitely be solved," and carries a telephone number for a 24-hour consultation service. The sign was put up by a national liaison council of associations of loan shark victims based in Kanda, Tokyo, in an attempt to prevent those troubled by financial difficulties from committing suicide. "
Now THAT'S what I call effective advertising.
ON PREMEDITATION
In March, there was a big news story about a man who killed one person, then stabbed a few more at a train station in Japan. He apparently sent several emails to police before he committed the murders, daring them to stop him. A few days after he was apprehended, the following news article appeared in the Daily Yomiuri.
"MITO--A man who is suspected to have fatally stabbed one person and injured seven others Sunday in Tsuchiura, Ibaraki Prefecture, and who was arrested on suspicion of murdering a man four days earlier, may have been planning to commit the murders, police said Monday. (Mar.25)"
Which is a stunning revelation in and of itself, but it was nicely followed up by this one.
"MITO--The eight plainclothes police officers posted in and around JR Arakawaoki Station on the lookout for a man wanted for murder were not equipped with radios and thus were unable to coordinate their actions when the man they were seeking went on a stabbing spree in the station area, it was learned Monday."
Apparently, the police were all over the train station (remember, the guy called and emailed them before hand, telling them where he would be), but for some reason, they didn't think to carry radios. So when this guy encountered one of them, he just turned and ran to a different part of the station and stabbed someone else. The only thing I can really think to say is, "Duh." I think that covers it rather nicely.
ON BEING CAMERA SHY
And while we're on the topic of police, I have another article. A few days before this next article was posted in the Daily Yomiuri, there was a story of a 70-something year old man who was taken into questioning by police and somehow "accidentally" broke his fingers and 2 ribs while in the station. People suspected possible police brutality. You think? The police in Japan have often been accused of forcing confessions from suspects, often using violence, threats, or plain old guilt. I started to write a long summary of this, then realized I could just insert comments in the article itself.
"The nation's criminal justice system is in a quandary over how to change the way police interrogate suspects ahead of the introduction of the lay-judge system for criminal trials and in the wake of a series of recent revelations [these "revelations" have been coming out for over 30 years; don't know if I'd consider that "recent"] of coercive police questioning that resulted in false charges.
As the National Police Agency released new guidelines to ensure proper investigation Thursday, the focus of the debates will shift to whether the practice of making audio or video recordings of police interrogations of suspects should be introduced.
[...]
A report released this month by a group of judges studying the issue also predicted that if the introduction of recordings leads to stricter selection of evidence, the average period of criminal trials could be shortened to four to eight days from the current period of between 16 and 39 months. [holy crap that's a long trial] NPA officials were initially reluctant to drastically review interrogation practices. [no kidding]
[...]
Though the NPA explained the situation to all 47 prefectural police forces, a sizable number of police investigators expressed embarrassment, saying that filming of interrogation sessions will make it more difficult to get suspects to trust them. [read: more difficult for the officers to beat the suspects]
Because police officers in Japan are not given the authority to carry out as broad a range of activities as their counterparts in other countries, investigators have developed techniques ["techniques"] to make suspects ["]voluntarily["] confess. For example, investigators have tried to ["]guide["] suspects into a sense of remorse by asking about their personal worries and life history.
It is also predicted that gang members will hesitate to confess, if all conversations in the interrogation room might be recorded and replayed in a court.
Requiring that all interrogations be recorded may make investigations more difficult and result in poorer public safety conditions."
To sum up - the courts are talking about requiring the police to tape/record interrogations; the police say that will damage their "trust" with the people they interrogate. Ummm... okay. Does this sound like they're worried about being found out, or am I just overly suspicious?
Well, that's all I guess for now. That was a longer post than originally intended (as they all are). I'll try to update again in the next few days. But I always say that, don't I?
Friday, May 23, 2008
New, long post about the new school year coming soon. Until then, here's a short story.
So I was heading to the bathroom at my base school the other day, and as I was switching into the bathroom slippers, some 2nd year boys were coming towards me. I said hello, they said hello back, and I went into the bathroom. I fully expected the boys to keep on walking and go to their class, as they usually do after I say hello. These boys, though, apparently had a bee in their bonnet about something. I could hear them giggling and whispering in English outside of the bathroom. They waited there while I went to the bathroom, washed my hands, and came out and changed back into my indoor shoes. Then they all asked me together (ever heard 6 boys ask a question in a foreign language in unison?), "What did you do last night?" And no, they weren't being stalkerish and weird (although 2 of these boys were part of the group I labeled as "My Three Stalkers" last year); this was the new target sentence that they had just learned. Apparently, one of the teachers had mentioned to the students that I like to watch Japanese comedies and dramas, and the boys had discovered that I liked some of the same shows they did. So they wanted to see whether I watched the show or not. This may not seem like a big thing, but the sad truth is that most students won't even say hello to me, so the fact that they asked me a question and waited for the answer, and then even replied to the answer, was really nice. It almost makes up for all the times they run away from me during interview games in class.
So I was heading to the bathroom at my base school the other day, and as I was switching into the bathroom slippers, some 2nd year boys were coming towards me. I said hello, they said hello back, and I went into the bathroom. I fully expected the boys to keep on walking and go to their class, as they usually do after I say hello. These boys, though, apparently had a bee in their bonnet about something. I could hear them giggling and whispering in English outside of the bathroom. They waited there while I went to the bathroom, washed my hands, and came out and changed back into my indoor shoes. Then they all asked me together (ever heard 6 boys ask a question in a foreign language in unison?), "What did you do last night?" And no, they weren't being stalkerish and weird (although 2 of these boys were part of the group I labeled as "My Three Stalkers" last year); this was the new target sentence that they had just learned. Apparently, one of the teachers had mentioned to the students that I like to watch Japanese comedies and dramas, and the boys had discovered that I liked some of the same shows they did. So they wanted to see whether I watched the show or not. This may not seem like a big thing, but the sad truth is that most students won't even say hello to me, so the fact that they asked me a question and waited for the answer, and then even replied to the answer, was really nice. It almost makes up for all the times they run away from me during interview games in class.
Friday, May 02, 2008
New School Year Part Deux
At the beginning of last school year, my teachers didn’t change all that much. If you remember Mr. Passivity, he left for another school in my city. And I got a new, young teacher at my worst school. And I got a new temporary teacher at one of my other schools. So there was not a lot of dramatic change/upheaval. This new school year was a little different. Before the new school year started, this was my list of teachers.
Base School
M sensei – really nice, one of my best friends in Japan
O sensei – can’t speak English really well, so she always tried to avoid having me in her classes. She was originally a music teacher, but the school needed an English teacher, so she got “promoted”. Tough old bird, though. She had throat cancer earlier in the year, had surgery, and was back at school, literally, inside of a week.
Physically Demonstrative sensei – semi-decent teacher, but she’s one of those older ladies who feel that because I’m foreign, they are allowed to constantly invade my hoola hoop of personal space. She would always grab on to me, get WAY too close when speaking to me, and it didn't help that she had really bad coffee breath all the time...
Cromartie
Freddy – I think I wrote about him before. REALLY good teacher, a little strange, but knows a LOT about western culture (he understood a Soul Train reference)
Ice Queen – bit of a misnomer because he’s actually a guy. He’s always busy, and he translates every #*(& word that comes out of my mouth in class (seriously – I say “Good morning” to his second year students, and he jumps in with “ohayoo gozaimasu”), and he NEVER talks to me unless he can help it. Not sure why he’s an English teacher…
Oneesan – Oneesan means “big sister” in Japanese, and she was kind of like a big sister except for the fact that she’s about 4’9” tall. I always talked to her, and she was one of the best teachers I had. She was really creative and had tons of ideas for game activities and such.
Ghetto
Mr Genki – This is the new young teacher I wrote about awhile back (he told students “don’t touch” when they were looking through my stuff). I don’t know about his teaching style because they always paired him up with Dependent sensei, so I’ve never seen him teach alone. He has earned my undying love, though, by his obvious interest in English and in western culture. Almost everytime I was at the Ghetto school, he would find time to talk to me (usually when he was playing hooky from his baseball coaching duties). He made this school a lot more bearable.
Dependent sensei – Nice older woman, really sweet, terrified of English, and afraid that her age was making her forget all her English. She couldn’t plan a lesson on her own for the life of her, and even when she did plan lessons, they weren’t that good or exciting. But she tried, God bless her. She made Mr Genki teach every lesson with her so she wouldn't have to teach alone.
Rabbit – poor, poor woman. She had lots of really good ideas for teaching English; unfortunately, she had ZERO classroom management abilities (it was in her classes that the students would stand up and walk around, leave the classroom, yell, look through my stuff, etc.), and her English wasn’t that great, either. To add to that, Dependent sensei taught together with Mr Genki, leaving Rabbit to teach the 1st and 2nd year students (though Mr Genki helped with the second years).
And then we come to this year. Many changes were made. Only one was for the better. The others either kept the status the same or made it much, much worse.
dundunDUN
At the beginning of last school year, my teachers didn’t change all that much. If you remember Mr. Passivity, he left for another school in my city. And I got a new, young teacher at my worst school. And I got a new temporary teacher at one of my other schools. So there was not a lot of dramatic change/upheaval. This new school year was a little different. Before the new school year started, this was my list of teachers.
Base School
M sensei – really nice, one of my best friends in Japan
O sensei – can’t speak English really well, so she always tried to avoid having me in her classes. She was originally a music teacher, but the school needed an English teacher, so she got “promoted”. Tough old bird, though. She had throat cancer earlier in the year, had surgery, and was back at school, literally, inside of a week.
Physically Demonstrative sensei – semi-decent teacher, but she’s one of those older ladies who feel that because I’m foreign, they are allowed to constantly invade my hoola hoop of personal space. She would always grab on to me, get WAY too close when speaking to me, and it didn't help that she had really bad coffee breath all the time...
Cromartie
Freddy – I think I wrote about him before. REALLY good teacher, a little strange, but knows a LOT about western culture (he understood a Soul Train reference)
Ice Queen – bit of a misnomer because he’s actually a guy. He’s always busy, and he translates every #*(& word that comes out of my mouth in class (seriously – I say “Good morning” to his second year students, and he jumps in with “ohayoo gozaimasu”), and he NEVER talks to me unless he can help it. Not sure why he’s an English teacher…
Oneesan – Oneesan means “big sister” in Japanese, and she was kind of like a big sister except for the fact that she’s about 4’9” tall. I always talked to her, and she was one of the best teachers I had. She was really creative and had tons of ideas for game activities and such.
Ghetto
Mr Genki – This is the new young teacher I wrote about awhile back (he told students “don’t touch” when they were looking through my stuff). I don’t know about his teaching style because they always paired him up with Dependent sensei, so I’ve never seen him teach alone. He has earned my undying love, though, by his obvious interest in English and in western culture. Almost everytime I was at the Ghetto school, he would find time to talk to me (usually when he was playing hooky from his baseball coaching duties). He made this school a lot more bearable.
Dependent sensei – Nice older woman, really sweet, terrified of English, and afraid that her age was making her forget all her English. She couldn’t plan a lesson on her own for the life of her, and even when she did plan lessons, they weren’t that good or exciting. But she tried, God bless her. She made Mr Genki teach every lesson with her so she wouldn't have to teach alone.
Rabbit – poor, poor woman. She had lots of really good ideas for teaching English; unfortunately, she had ZERO classroom management abilities (it was in her classes that the students would stand up and walk around, leave the classroom, yell, look through my stuff, etc.), and her English wasn’t that great, either. To add to that, Dependent sensei taught together with Mr Genki, leaving Rabbit to teach the 1st and 2nd year students (though Mr Genki helped with the second years).
And then we come to this year. Many changes were made. Only one was for the better. The others either kept the status the same or made it much, much worse.
dundunDUN
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
New School Year Part 1
This is going to be a multiple entry blog about the new school year, my teachers, and other fun stuff. The first blog isn't going to be much fun because it'll just be me whining about the Japanese school system. Sorry!
Before I start into the specifics of my schools, my teachers, and my students, I think I’ll take a brief moment to detail the Japanese school system, which is really messed up. The way the school system works here in Japan is weird. School runs from April through March, with a 2 week break usually falling at the end of March/beginning of April. I’m fine with that part. That way, students get a break (in theory, but this is Japan, so they still come to school every day for sports and club activities), and teachers have time to chill, write report cards, etc. And in Japan the teachers do take the first week to write final reports for the year, etc. The problem I have with this school system is what occurs at the end of the first week and all through the second week.
At the end of the first week, the teachers find out if they are being transferred. That then leaves them only 1 week to go to a new school, meet the new staff, and create a whole new set of lesson plans for the school year. It’s crazy. Just because they taught the 2nd year students using one brand of textbooks one year doesn’t mean they’ll teach the same grade and from the same textbooks the next year. I had a teacher who taught using the New Horizon textbooks to 2nd year students in a neighboring city; the next year, she was transferred to my city and had 1 week to familiarize herself with the Sunshine textbooks that my city uses and with the 3rd year level of English. How do schools systems think that 1 week is enough time to plan your entire curriculum for the year? That’s barely enough time to figure out where the bathrooms are in your school, let alone to design a whole years-worth of lessons, games, etc. No wonder there’s not a lot of change in Japan – there’s no TIME to implement change. And now imagine the situation of my poor BOE guy, who not only had to do all of this, but he had to couple it with moving to a new city, learning how to cook dinners for himself alone, saying goodbye to his family, etc. Utter, utter crap.
Teachers change schools about every 3-8 years, with the average being about 5 years at any given school. They have no say in what school they go to, or even where in the prefecture they go (though they can make requests). It’s not unheard of for teachers to get moved to schools upwards of 2 or 3 hours away. Many teachers in these situations must rent an apartment in the city they teach in, live there alone for 4 days a week, then go back to live with their family on the weekend. One of my favorite BOE members was just transferred. He was really nice, spoke really good English despite not having studied it for several years, and he really adored his family. But, at the whim of the higher ups, he was transferred this year to a school 2 hours away. So now he has to live alone for most of the week, and he can only see his family on the weekends. This situation could last upwards of 3-5 years. How much does that suck?
Anyway, back to teachers. New teachers usually only stay a year or two at their first few school because the BOE wants them to get a feel for a few different schools. There are also contract teachers, who have studied their subject area and went through teachers' training, but didn’t manage to pass the final exam (which is really hard because in Japan, they only accept a certain amount of new teachers a year. So you could be a really, really great teacher and really good in your subject area, but if they already accepted 3 new teachers and the quota was 3, then sorry, but you don’t get your teaching license). These contract teachers usually only stay 1 year at any give school, though it’s not unheard of for them to stay 2.
So that’s a quick overview of the crappy, crappy system here. Next post will have a little more humor, I hope. This one was just complaining. Sorry.
Before I start into the specifics of my schools, my teachers, and my students, I think I’ll take a brief moment to detail the Japanese school system, which is really messed up. The way the school system works here in Japan is weird. School runs from April through March, with a 2 week break usually falling at the end of March/beginning of April. I’m fine with that part. That way, students get a break (in theory, but this is Japan, so they still come to school every day for sports and club activities), and teachers have time to chill, write report cards, etc. And in Japan the teachers do take the first week to write final reports for the year, etc. The problem I have with this school system is what occurs at the end of the first week and all through the second week.
At the end of the first week, the teachers find out if they are being transferred. That then leaves them only 1 week to go to a new school, meet the new staff, and create a whole new set of lesson plans for the school year. It’s crazy. Just because they taught the 2nd year students using one brand of textbooks one year doesn’t mean they’ll teach the same grade and from the same textbooks the next year. I had a teacher who taught using the New Horizon textbooks to 2nd year students in a neighboring city; the next year, she was transferred to my city and had 1 week to familiarize herself with the Sunshine textbooks that my city uses and with the 3rd year level of English. How do schools systems think that 1 week is enough time to plan your entire curriculum for the year? That’s barely enough time to figure out where the bathrooms are in your school, let alone to design a whole years-worth of lessons, games, etc. No wonder there’s not a lot of change in Japan – there’s no TIME to implement change. And now imagine the situation of my poor BOE guy, who not only had to do all of this, but he had to couple it with moving to a new city, learning how to cook dinners for himself alone, saying goodbye to his family, etc. Utter, utter crap.
Teachers change schools about every 3-8 years, with the average being about 5 years at any given school. They have no say in what school they go to, or even where in the prefecture they go (though they can make requests). It’s not unheard of for teachers to get moved to schools upwards of 2 or 3 hours away. Many teachers in these situations must rent an apartment in the city they teach in, live there alone for 4 days a week, then go back to live with their family on the weekend. One of my favorite BOE members was just transferred. He was really nice, spoke really good English despite not having studied it for several years, and he really adored his family. But, at the whim of the higher ups, he was transferred this year to a school 2 hours away. So now he has to live alone for most of the week, and he can only see his family on the weekends. This situation could last upwards of 3-5 years. How much does that suck?
Anyway, back to teachers. New teachers usually only stay a year or two at their first few school because the BOE wants them to get a feel for a few different schools. There are also contract teachers, who have studied their subject area and went through teachers' training, but didn’t manage to pass the final exam (which is really hard because in Japan, they only accept a certain amount of new teachers a year. So you could be a really, really great teacher and really good in your subject area, but if they already accepted 3 new teachers and the quota was 3, then sorry, but you don’t get your teaching license). These contract teachers usually only stay 1 year at any give school, though it’s not unheard of for them to stay 2.
So that’s a quick overview of the crappy, crappy system here. Next post will have a little more humor, I hope. This one was just complaining. Sorry.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
This is just a post to catch up on the beginning of the school year. This is the last thing that happened before the new school year, so I'm posting it before I forget it. Not incredibly amusing, but I feel it's worth recounting because I want to brag about my sports prowess.
On Gaining Street Cred
I went to Cromartie the other day, which has never been one of my friendlier schools. The staff are usually fairly indifferent towards me, which is why I was quite surprised to walk in and hear several teacher say "Good morning!" in English (at this school, I'm lucky to get 3 or 4 teachers to acknowledge my presence in Japanese, so I was a bit surprised to hear it in English). When I went up to the 3rd year students hallway, many of the boys (who are usually quite shy, and will only nod their heads if I say hello to them) went out of their way to say hello to me and ask me how I was. Why the sudden change in everyone?
A few weeks ago, I came into the staffroom at Cromartie in the morning. The principal followed me in a minute later and said in English, "Jessica, let's play softball!" I laughed, asked him when, and he gave me a specific date. An English teacher then told me that the staff had decided that they wanted to play a staff sports game. They had decided to play softball, and one of my English teachers remembered that I liked softball, so they decided to invite me to play. I said okay, since I love softball and haven't played it in about 10 years. I figured it would be a fun game amongst the staff and that most of the students wouldn't be at school. I was quite surprised to get to school and find most of the students still there for club activities. Even better, I found out that only a few teachers were playing and that we were going to play against the boys baseball team. And the best thing of all was that I was the ONLY female teacher playing. So it was me and 8 male teachers who don't regularly participate in sports against 20 teenagers who practice baseball everyday of the year. Yea!! I love a challenge. I got incredibly nervous, not having played in 10 years, and had great fears of accidentally killing someone by throwing a ball wrong or some such thing. It didn't help my nerves that all the female teachers and a great deal of students were watching and cheering for me (literally cheering for me. Everyone was screaming my name. I was like a rock star).
Luckily, I didn't do too much to shame myself. The male teachers got together and decided that I should be pitcher (turned that one down) or catcher (also said no to that), and then they decided on first base. I was hesitant to play first, but I gave it a try, and I wasn't so bad. Every time I made a slightly difficult catch, all the students and teachers watching would scream my name. I also found out that in sports, Japanese people use a lot of English terms (people would say, "nice catch" or "nice play".). I did slightly embarrass myself batting. I struck out the first time (the boy pitching threw it really fast because he thought I was good), then after that, I would yell "be nice!" every time I got up to bat, and he threw it much slower. He felt really bad about striking me out and even apologized later. Poor kid. I never did get on base, but that was no surprise, as hitting had always been my weak point. Still, I did fairly well in fielding, and I even made one kid's days when he ran into me (short kid. Very short kid. Head about the same height as my chest. Yup. Poor guy.). The teachers, much to my surprise, whooped the butts of the students. The score was something like 10-1. And after this game, I become a celebrity at my school. My students had always figured I was smart because I speak English (doesn't matter that it's my native language - the fact that I can speak it makes me smart to them), but they didn't realize that I had some athletic skills, too. I'm just glad that we didn't play soccer or something really embarrassing like that. I would have completely shamed myself and the students would have laughed at me instead of saying hello.
On Gaining Street Cred
I went to Cromartie the other day, which has never been one of my friendlier schools. The staff are usually fairly indifferent towards me, which is why I was quite surprised to walk in and hear several teacher say "Good morning!" in English (at this school, I'm lucky to get 3 or 4 teachers to acknowledge my presence in Japanese, so I was a bit surprised to hear it in English). When I went up to the 3rd year students hallway, many of the boys (who are usually quite shy, and will only nod their heads if I say hello to them) went out of their way to say hello to me and ask me how I was. Why the sudden change in everyone?
A few weeks ago, I came into the staffroom at Cromartie in the morning. The principal followed me in a minute later and said in English, "Jessica, let's play softball!" I laughed, asked him when, and he gave me a specific date. An English teacher then told me that the staff had decided that they wanted to play a staff sports game. They had decided to play softball, and one of my English teachers remembered that I liked softball, so they decided to invite me to play. I said okay, since I love softball and haven't played it in about 10 years. I figured it would be a fun game amongst the staff and that most of the students wouldn't be at school. I was quite surprised to get to school and find most of the students still there for club activities. Even better, I found out that only a few teachers were playing and that we were going to play against the boys baseball team. And the best thing of all was that I was the ONLY female teacher playing. So it was me and 8 male teachers who don't regularly participate in sports against 20 teenagers who practice baseball everyday of the year. Yea!! I love a challenge. I got incredibly nervous, not having played in 10 years, and had great fears of accidentally killing someone by throwing a ball wrong or some such thing. It didn't help my nerves that all the female teachers and a great deal of students were watching and cheering for me (literally cheering for me. Everyone was screaming my name. I was like a rock star).
Luckily, I didn't do too much to shame myself. The male teachers got together and decided that I should be pitcher (turned that one down) or catcher (also said no to that), and then they decided on first base. I was hesitant to play first, but I gave it a try, and I wasn't so bad. Every time I made a slightly difficult catch, all the students and teachers watching would scream my name. I also found out that in sports, Japanese people use a lot of English terms (people would say, "nice catch" or "nice play".). I did slightly embarrass myself batting. I struck out the first time (the boy pitching threw it really fast because he thought I was good), then after that, I would yell "be nice!" every time I got up to bat, and he threw it much slower. He felt really bad about striking me out and even apologized later. Poor kid. I never did get on base, but that was no surprise, as hitting had always been my weak point. Still, I did fairly well in fielding, and I even made one kid's days when he ran into me (short kid. Very short kid. Head about the same height as my chest. Yup. Poor guy.). The teachers, much to my surprise, whooped the butts of the students. The score was something like 10-1. And after this game, I become a celebrity at my school. My students had always figured I was smart because I speak English (doesn't matter that it's my native language - the fact that I can speak it makes me smart to them), but they didn't realize that I had some athletic skills, too. I'm just glad that we didn't play soccer or something really embarrassing like that. I would have completely shamed myself and the students would have laughed at me instead of saying hello.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Okay, so it's been nearly 3 weeks. And I'm not actually going to update today. I've come to promise an update soon. My new school year has started, and thus I have some great stories about new and old teachers, possibly the most interesting of which involves pornography. Be sure to tune in sometime in the next week for my exciting stories!
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Ha! I only let 2 weeks slip by between posts this time. Go me! I apologize for any random m's, k's, or n's that pop up - the soda I spilled a month ago on my keyboard is getting a bit temperamental and changing letters that it likes to add repeatedly. At first my computer wouldn't let me type those letters, but now it seems determined to make up for this fact by adding extras to every sentence. What's better, I sometimes don't even push k, but it adds a random k just for the heckk of it. And I can't be bothered with typing this in Word first and then doing spell checkk, so you'll just have to live with it. :-) Apologies.
On Allergies
Currently in Japan, we are going through allergy season. I believe that everyone is saying that it is cedar allergy season. They say that cedar pollen is getting to everyone. When they do the news every night, they have a separate time during the weather when they broadcast how bad the pollen will be for the week (instead of suns to show sunny weather, they have little animated heads. A really bad allergy day is represented by someone wearing a mask kand coughing, whereas a mild day is someone wearing a mask and looking somewhat constipated).
Anyhow, literally everyone around me is suffering intensely. The staff rooms are full of nonstop coughing, sneezing (which they don't cover their mouths to do, and they appear to try to do is as loudly as possible), burping (? not sure of the connection to allergies, but the instances of random burps in the staff room have risen of late), hacking, and (shudder) sniffing. The composite of all these makes it sound like I'm working in a rat infested plague pit. I've never encountered cedar allergies before, but they seem to make everyone in Japan absolutely miserable. And I can only assume, based on the continuous and annoying nature of the sniffles, that said cedars are growing inside their nasal cavities. What's more, these allergy sufferors seem to be trying to keep said cedars INSIDE their noses, while at the same time, the allergens are trying to convince the cedars to come out and frollick in the snot-covered fields with them.
And the thing is, there’s no medication here that can help because all the semi-strong sinus and allergy medication is ILLEGAL in Japan . That’s right. Even something like Tylenol sinus is too strong and is considered highly dangerous. So instead of helpful medication, people are forced to go to nose and throat clinics where the doctor gives them water in a squirt bottle and 28 different kinds of sugar pills and tells them to come back in a week if their symptoms haven’t cleared up. So for 2 months, they sit in misery, making others miserable, too, as their noses run nonstop. I miss America, where we can just go straight to a doctor who says, “oh, you have allergies.” And he gives us some medicine with warning labels like: may cause drowsiness, slight mood swing, loss of appetite, seizure, blood clot, insanity, bed-wetting, etc. And we wake up the next day next to 10 dead bodies of people we’ve killed in a sleep-walking rage and say, "Hey, he was right! No more sniffles! This stuff is great!"
On Allergies
Currently in Japan, we are going through allergy season. I believe that everyone is saying that it is cedar allergy season. They say that cedar pollen is getting to everyone. When they do the news every night, they have a separate time during the weather when they broadcast how bad the pollen will be for the week (instead of suns to show sunny weather, they have little animated heads. A really bad allergy day is represented by someone wearing a mask kand coughing, whereas a mild day is someone wearing a mask and looking somewhat constipated).
Anyhow, literally everyone around me is suffering intensely. The staff rooms are full of nonstop coughing, sneezing (which they don't cover their mouths to do, and they appear to try to do is as loudly as possible), burping (? not sure of the connection to allergies, but the instances of random burps in the staff room have risen of late), hacking, and (shudder) sniffing. The composite of all these makes it sound like I'm working in a rat infested plague pit. I've never encountered cedar allergies before, but they seem to make everyone in Japan absolutely miserable. And I can only assume, based on the continuous and annoying nature of the sniffles, that said cedars are growing inside their nasal cavities. What's more, these allergy sufferors seem to be trying to keep said cedars INSIDE their noses, while at the same time, the allergens are trying to convince the cedars to come out and frollick in the snot-covered fields with them.
And the thing is, there’s no medication here that can help because all the semi-strong sinus and allergy medication is ILLEGAL in Japan . That’s right. Even something like Tylenol sinus is too strong and is considered highly dangerous. So instead of helpful medication, people are forced to go to nose and throat clinics where the doctor gives them water in a squirt bottle and 28 different kinds of sugar pills and tells them to come back in a week if their symptoms haven’t cleared up. So for 2 months, they sit in misery, making others miserable, too, as their noses run nonstop. I miss America, where we can just go straight to a doctor who says, “oh, you have allergies.” And he gives us some medicine with warning labels like: may cause drowsiness, slight mood swing, loss of appetite, seizure, blood clot, insanity, bed-wetting, etc. And we wake up the next day next to 10 dead bodies of people we’ve killed in a sleep-walking rage and say, "Hey, he was right! No more sniffles! This stuff is great!"
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Another Quick Update
You know it's been a good birthday when...
it takes you 30 minutes to email replies to everyone who wished you a happy birthday
the weather is over 50 degrees and you don't have to use your heater for once
you battle your apartment back to a state of semi-ungrossness
you finish a horrible, boring, upsetting class before your birthday and never have to do it again
you watch a good movie
you have time for a nap
On Signs
So I've been gaining weight lately. And I know this for a fact. I'm not like one of those girls who gain 1/8 of a pound and start complaining to their friends and saying, "I'm such a pig!!! I'm never eating food again!" I've seriously gained a bit of weight. And I've taken proactive steps recently by buying a treadmill. But I still buy dessert that I know I probably shouldn't because it just makes me fatter. But just the other day, I got a big hint that I really need to start losing weight. I went to the store desperately wanting something chocolate-y. So I bought a chocolate pudding pastry. And to go with it, I bought a chocolate latte. And since it's been warming up lately, I decided to get an ice cream bar in case I wanted something cold later in the week. Feeling a little guilty, I went to the register, where I received a clear sign from above. When the cashier rang up my healthy purchases, I looked at the register to see my total. Much to my dismay, my dessert total was 666 yen. Now, if that isn't a sign that I'm supposed to lose weight, I don't know what is.
it takes you 30 minutes to email replies to everyone who wished you a happy birthday
the weather is over 50 degrees and you don't have to use your heater for once
you battle your apartment back to a state of semi-ungrossness
you finish a horrible, boring, upsetting class before your birthday and never have to do it again
you watch a good movie
you have time for a nap
On Signs
So I've been gaining weight lately. And I know this for a fact. I'm not like one of those girls who gain 1/8 of a pound and start complaining to their friends and saying, "I'm such a pig!!! I'm never eating food again!" I've seriously gained a bit of weight. And I've taken proactive steps recently by buying a treadmill. But I still buy dessert that I know I probably shouldn't because it just makes me fatter. But just the other day, I got a big hint that I really need to start losing weight. I went to the store desperately wanting something chocolate-y. So I bought a chocolate pudding pastry. And to go with it, I bought a chocolate latte. And since it's been warming up lately, I decided to get an ice cream bar in case I wanted something cold later in the week. Feeling a little guilty, I went to the register, where I received a clear sign from above. When the cashier rang up my healthy purchases, I looked at the register to see my total. Much to my dismay, my dessert total was 666 yen. Now, if that isn't a sign that I'm supposed to lose weight, I don't know what is.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
I know culture shock is a constant cycle that keeps recurring so long as a person lives in a different country. And I know it hits everyone differently. But has anyone out there every heard of someone who forgot one language and started speaking another? I've been hitting a low in my culture shock curve lately, and along with the depression and weird mood swings, I've also been forgetting a lot of Japanese. But what I find most odd is that at the same rate I'm forgetting Japanese, I'm suddenly remembering my high school Spanish. I've tried to talk to several people in Japanese lately, and so help me, the only "foreign" language I could remember was Spanish. On the other hand, I feel like a good student now that I know I can still remember stuff from high school.
Friday, February 22, 2008
Ohisashiburi
Ohisashiburi desu, ne? It's been a long time, right? No excuses. I'm lazy. I was going to update last week, but I spilled pop on my keyboard and had to figure out how to clean it off without ruining stuff. Still not sure if I managed that because I haven't turned it on since I cleaned it last night. I'm currently using my work computer. Yeah for slacking! Except I'm not. For once, I honestly don't have any lesson plans or games to prepare, so I can just sit around and do whatever. Graduation is coming up, so I don't have the 3rd year students anymore, and the 1st and 2nd year students are almost done with their textbooks, so the teachers are gearing them up for one final test. Oh, joy! From August 2007 to February 2008, I was the busiest I have ever been in my life (excluding senior year of college). I was pretty much nonstop busy - Sports Day, Speech Contest, Culture Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, going home, New Year's, Valentine's Day. Every weekend had at least one thing going on, I was always planning for something, and I had to be 80 places everyday. So it's finally slowing down.
I guess the first big news is that I'm staying in Japan for another year. I've recontracted, which means I'll be staying until August 2009. But I am so definitely coming home then. Don't think I could last a 4th year. But I'm going to stick it out for a third year for my students, teachers, education in general, and money in specific. I'm working on having a positive mindset about a third year, and for those who know me, you know that a positive mindset is sometimes slightly difficult for me to achieve. It's hard to be positive during winter in Japan. It's cold outside, it's colder inside, everyone's sick, and we're all battling SAD (Seasonal Affect Disorder or something like that). I just keep telling myself I need to last until March. My birthday is in March, spring is in March, the teachers I hate could potentially be leaving my schools in March... it's a world full of possibilities.
So as I look towards this possibly brighter future, I guess I'll also look far back at the dimming past for some fun stories about what's been going on with my life since September. I think I pop up a few updates over the next few days with stories from the past 7 months.
On Annoying Questions
Some of you may remember quite awhile ago, I complained that at one of my schools, I had a teacher who talked to me in very broken, very LOUD English. He left the school at the end of the year (the teacher he was replacing was on maternity leave, and she came back thank GOD!), and I was sort of happy about that. But I should have known better. When one annoyance leaves, it is sure to be replaced by another. There was a new teacher who sat next to me, and she was a special education/home ec. teacher. On the first day, she turned and introduced herself to me in English. "Oh, that's nice," I (foolishly) thought. "She's trying English and seems like she wants to speak and learn it." Hahahahaha... I shoud have heard my scornful laughter coming from the future, but for some reason, I didn't. My Scornful Laughter Detector must have been broken.
So the next time I came to that school, I set my water bottle on my desk. Now this is a little strange in Japan, but not totally unusual. You see, usually in staff rooms in Japan, they have coffee and tea for people to drink. As I don't like either of those, I just bring in some bottled water (I wash the bottles and re-use them - I'm not one of THOSE people who buy a new bottle of water everyday). This teacher saw my water bottle and asked me, "Oh, do you like mineral water?" She actually said this about 3 times, as I couldn't understand her English the first few rounds. "Ummm, sort of?" I replied. Because it's not like I'm addicted to it - I just buy it for the bottle. "Oh, I see," she said. "Water is healthy. But why drink mineral water? H-city has good water!" Okay, fine, "Yes, I like mineral water," I finally said just to get her to stop asking about it (this conversation looks short, but about 10 minutes actually passed, as she tried to say this first in Japanese, which I didn't understand, then in very broken English, which was still difficult to understand.). And thus the conversation ends, right? RIGHT???
Haha. Wrong. She persists in asking me if all American water is dirty and if we all have to drink mineral water. And, like many Japanese elderly and middle aged ladies, she's very grabby. In Japan, usually you don't touch other people unless you're good friends (hence bowing, not hand-shaking). Japanese people know, however, that this is not the rule in other countries. So many of them feel that it is okay to touch foreigners, as we don't have the non-tactile rules that apply to Japan. Unfortunately, some women feel that it is okay to grab me. And they don't understand how hard they grab. Since they don't touch people often, I think they underestimate the amount of force you need to exert when taking someone's arm, patting them on the back, or poking them. I have bruises, painful painful bruises, from where old ladies have grabbed me or poked me. And the problem is that you can't pull away from them because you don't want to hurt them or knock them over. But people who know me, know I have about a 15-foot circle of personal space around me at all times. And these ladies definitely invade my circle. And this woman was no different. She grabbed my water bottle, then grabbed my arm and started talking in fast Japanese about mineral water. And she WOULDN'T LET ME GO. I could't get away. I wanted nothing more than to jerk my arm away and run out of the staff room (this has got to be some sort of phobia or mental disorder, but I seriously hate it when people I don't know grab me. Maybe it's a control issue?). After 5 minutes, she let go, and blessedly, it was time for me to go. I literally threw all my stuff in my backpack and ran out of the room.
I should be nicer to her for making the effort to speak in English, I know. But that was just weird. And it got a little weirder the next time I went to that school. She came in the staff room towards the end of the day again and saw my water bottle. And once again, she asked me if I liked mineral water. "Wait," I thought, "didn't we just have this conversation a few days ago?" But since she was trying in English, I responded politely, but made sure none of my limbs or water bottles were within grabbing distance.
Fast forward 2 months later, and everytime she sits down, the first words out of her mouth to me are, "Oh, do you like mineral water?" AAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!! "What will it take for you to STOP ASKING THAT QUESTION?!?" Seriously, I know this isn't a big deal, but imagine if someone you didn't like came up to you and asked the same incredibly pointless question EVERY DAY. Wouldn't it slowly wear away at your soul? It got to the point where I dreaded going to this school. I would hide my water in my bag and only take it out when I needed it. And yet, she would always find a way to ask me that question. I wanted to post a sign between our desks answering the question so that I could just point to it everytime she asked.
Luckily for me, I had already developed a skill crucial to living and being successful in Japan. It is the skill of Crafty Ignore, which is like a +5 skill level in D&D (total lie - never played D&D, but it sounds like a move from there). You see, here's my problem: I can't let my anger get the best of me. It's not an option to explode. Because to most of these people, I represent America. And if I explode in anger, just once, that means that all Americans suddenly have anger management problems. So anytime I'm rude, angry, or negative in any way, I immediately gain a bad reputation for all Americans. So I had to develop the Crafty Ignore skill. See, I figured out early in my time here in Japan that if you don't make eye contact with people, they'll usually leave you alone. People usually won't talk to you if you look busy and avoid making eye contact with them. I have spent many minutes watching people stand uncomfortably beside me as I updated my blog, looking intensely busy and not looking up at them. I know they're there, but so long as I don't acknowledge them, they feel bad disturbing me. Yes, I am that rude. But sometimes, you just KNOW that the person is going to ask you an inane question or something. The nice thing about this situation is that when I act like I'm busy, they make the silly assumption that I am actually, well, busy. So I get off scott free because they don't think I'm being rude. Far from it - they think that I'm a hard worker. In being rude, I'm actually helping out all Americans. See guys? It all works out somehow. Right?
So now, everytime I see this woman come in, I immediately pull something out of my bag so that I can look totally focused and engrossed in something or other. I can see her twitching next to me, facing me, and obviously wanting to make another insipid comment about bottled water, and I just ignore her. I become completely and totally engrossed in my calendar, textbook, pencil, head lice, whatever, just to ignore her. I don't think anyone has ever been so engrossed with the Bohemian Raphsody, but she came in once, and it was all I had on my desk. For about a week, I couldn't get that song out of my head. It helped when I listened to Weird Al's version. But you know what? It was worth listening to the Bohemian Raphsody for a week just to not here that stupid question.
I guess the first big news is that I'm staying in Japan for another year. I've recontracted, which means I'll be staying until August 2009. But I am so definitely coming home then. Don't think I could last a 4th year. But I'm going to stick it out for a third year for my students, teachers, education in general, and money in specific. I'm working on having a positive mindset about a third year, and for those who know me, you know that a positive mindset is sometimes slightly difficult for me to achieve. It's hard to be positive during winter in Japan. It's cold outside, it's colder inside, everyone's sick, and we're all battling SAD (Seasonal Affect Disorder or something like that). I just keep telling myself I need to last until March. My birthday is in March, spring is in March, the teachers I hate could potentially be leaving my schools in March... it's a world full of possibilities.
So as I look towards this possibly brighter future, I guess I'll also look far back at the dimming past for some fun stories about what's been going on with my life since September. I think I pop up a few updates over the next few days with stories from the past 7 months.
On Annoying Questions
Some of you may remember quite awhile ago, I complained that at one of my schools, I had a teacher who talked to me in very broken, very LOUD English. He left the school at the end of the year (the teacher he was replacing was on maternity leave, and she came back thank GOD!), and I was sort of happy about that. But I should have known better. When one annoyance leaves, it is sure to be replaced by another. There was a new teacher who sat next to me, and she was a special education/home ec. teacher. On the first day, she turned and introduced herself to me in English. "Oh, that's nice," I (foolishly) thought. "She's trying English and seems like she wants to speak and learn it." Hahahahaha... I shoud have heard my scornful laughter coming from the future, but for some reason, I didn't. My Scornful Laughter Detector must have been broken.
So the next time I came to that school, I set my water bottle on my desk. Now this is a little strange in Japan, but not totally unusual. You see, usually in staff rooms in Japan, they have coffee and tea for people to drink. As I don't like either of those, I just bring in some bottled water (I wash the bottles and re-use them - I'm not one of THOSE people who buy a new bottle of water everyday). This teacher saw my water bottle and asked me, "Oh, do you like mineral water?" She actually said this about 3 times, as I couldn't understand her English the first few rounds. "Ummm, sort of?" I replied. Because it's not like I'm addicted to it - I just buy it for the bottle. "Oh, I see," she said. "Water is healthy. But why drink mineral water? H-city has good water!" Okay, fine, "Yes, I like mineral water," I finally said just to get her to stop asking about it (this conversation looks short, but about 10 minutes actually passed, as she tried to say this first in Japanese, which I didn't understand, then in very broken English, which was still difficult to understand.). And thus the conversation ends, right? RIGHT???
Haha. Wrong. She persists in asking me if all American water is dirty and if we all have to drink mineral water. And, like many Japanese elderly and middle aged ladies, she's very grabby. In Japan, usually you don't touch other people unless you're good friends (hence bowing, not hand-shaking). Japanese people know, however, that this is not the rule in other countries. So many of them feel that it is okay to touch foreigners, as we don't have the non-tactile rules that apply to Japan. Unfortunately, some women feel that it is okay to grab me. And they don't understand how hard they grab. Since they don't touch people often, I think they underestimate the amount of force you need to exert when taking someone's arm, patting them on the back, or poking them. I have bruises, painful painful bruises, from where old ladies have grabbed me or poked me. And the problem is that you can't pull away from them because you don't want to hurt them or knock them over. But people who know me, know I have about a 15-foot circle of personal space around me at all times. And these ladies definitely invade my circle. And this woman was no different. She grabbed my water bottle, then grabbed my arm and started talking in fast Japanese about mineral water. And she WOULDN'T LET ME GO. I could't get away. I wanted nothing more than to jerk my arm away and run out of the staff room (this has got to be some sort of phobia or mental disorder, but I seriously hate it when people I don't know grab me. Maybe it's a control issue?). After 5 minutes, she let go, and blessedly, it was time for me to go. I literally threw all my stuff in my backpack and ran out of the room.
I should be nicer to her for making the effort to speak in English, I know. But that was just weird. And it got a little weirder the next time I went to that school. She came in the staff room towards the end of the day again and saw my water bottle. And once again, she asked me if I liked mineral water. "Wait," I thought, "didn't we just have this conversation a few days ago?" But since she was trying in English, I responded politely, but made sure none of my limbs or water bottles were within grabbing distance.
Fast forward 2 months later, and everytime she sits down, the first words out of her mouth to me are, "Oh, do you like mineral water?" AAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!! "What will it take for you to STOP ASKING THAT QUESTION?!?" Seriously, I know this isn't a big deal, but imagine if someone you didn't like came up to you and asked the same incredibly pointless question EVERY DAY. Wouldn't it slowly wear away at your soul? It got to the point where I dreaded going to this school. I would hide my water in my bag and only take it out when I needed it. And yet, she would always find a way to ask me that question. I wanted to post a sign between our desks answering the question so that I could just point to it everytime she asked.
Luckily for me, I had already developed a skill crucial to living and being successful in Japan. It is the skill of Crafty Ignore, which is like a +5 skill level in D&D (total lie - never played D&D, but it sounds like a move from there). You see, here's my problem: I can't let my anger get the best of me. It's not an option to explode. Because to most of these people, I represent America. And if I explode in anger, just once, that means that all Americans suddenly have anger management problems. So anytime I'm rude, angry, or negative in any way, I immediately gain a bad reputation for all Americans. So I had to develop the Crafty Ignore skill. See, I figured out early in my time here in Japan that if you don't make eye contact with people, they'll usually leave you alone. People usually won't talk to you if you look busy and avoid making eye contact with them. I have spent many minutes watching people stand uncomfortably beside me as I updated my blog, looking intensely busy and not looking up at them. I know they're there, but so long as I don't acknowledge them, they feel bad disturbing me. Yes, I am that rude. But sometimes, you just KNOW that the person is going to ask you an inane question or something. The nice thing about this situation is that when I act like I'm busy, they make the silly assumption that I am actually, well, busy. So I get off scott free because they don't think I'm being rude. Far from it - they think that I'm a hard worker. In being rude, I'm actually helping out all Americans. See guys? It all works out somehow. Right?
So now, everytime I see this woman come in, I immediately pull something out of my bag so that I can look totally focused and engrossed in something or other. I can see her twitching next to me, facing me, and obviously wanting to make another insipid comment about bottled water, and I just ignore her. I become completely and totally engrossed in my calendar, textbook, pencil, head lice, whatever, just to ignore her. I don't think anyone has ever been so engrossed with the Bohemian Raphsody, but she came in once, and it was all I had on my desk. For about a week, I couldn't get that song out of my head. It helped when I listened to Weird Al's version. But you know what? It was worth listening to the Bohemian Raphsody for a week just to not here that stupid question.
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