Thursday, February 28, 2008
I know culture shock is a constant cycle that keeps recurring so long as a person lives in a different country. And I know it hits everyone differently. But has anyone out there every heard of someone who forgot one language and started speaking another? I've been hitting a low in my culture shock curve lately, and along with the depression and weird mood swings, I've also been forgetting a lot of Japanese. But what I find most odd is that at the same rate I'm forgetting Japanese, I'm suddenly remembering my high school Spanish. I've tried to talk to several people in Japanese lately, and so help me, the only "foreign" language I could remember was Spanish. On the other hand, I feel like a good student now that I know I can still remember stuff from high school.
Friday, February 22, 2008
Ohisashiburi
Ohisashiburi desu, ne? It's been a long time, right? No excuses. I'm lazy. I was going to update last week, but I spilled pop on my keyboard and had to figure out how to clean it off without ruining stuff. Still not sure if I managed that because I haven't turned it on since I cleaned it last night. I'm currently using my work computer. Yeah for slacking! Except I'm not. For once, I honestly don't have any lesson plans or games to prepare, so I can just sit around and do whatever. Graduation is coming up, so I don't have the 3rd year students anymore, and the 1st and 2nd year students are almost done with their textbooks, so the teachers are gearing them up for one final test. Oh, joy! From August 2007 to February 2008, I was the busiest I have ever been in my life (excluding senior year of college). I was pretty much nonstop busy - Sports Day, Speech Contest, Culture Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, going home, New Year's, Valentine's Day. Every weekend had at least one thing going on, I was always planning for something, and I had to be 80 places everyday. So it's finally slowing down.
I guess the first big news is that I'm staying in Japan for another year. I've recontracted, which means I'll be staying until August 2009. But I am so definitely coming home then. Don't think I could last a 4th year. But I'm going to stick it out for a third year for my students, teachers, education in general, and money in specific. I'm working on having a positive mindset about a third year, and for those who know me, you know that a positive mindset is sometimes slightly difficult for me to achieve. It's hard to be positive during winter in Japan. It's cold outside, it's colder inside, everyone's sick, and we're all battling SAD (Seasonal Affect Disorder or something like that). I just keep telling myself I need to last until March. My birthday is in March, spring is in March, the teachers I hate could potentially be leaving my schools in March... it's a world full of possibilities.
So as I look towards this possibly brighter future, I guess I'll also look far back at the dimming past for some fun stories about what's been going on with my life since September. I think I pop up a few updates over the next few days with stories from the past 7 months.
On Annoying Questions
Some of you may remember quite awhile ago, I complained that at one of my schools, I had a teacher who talked to me in very broken, very LOUD English. He left the school at the end of the year (the teacher he was replacing was on maternity leave, and she came back thank GOD!), and I was sort of happy about that. But I should have known better. When one annoyance leaves, it is sure to be replaced by another. There was a new teacher who sat next to me, and she was a special education/home ec. teacher. On the first day, she turned and introduced herself to me in English. "Oh, that's nice," I (foolishly) thought. "She's trying English and seems like she wants to speak and learn it." Hahahahaha... I shoud have heard my scornful laughter coming from the future, but for some reason, I didn't. My Scornful Laughter Detector must have been broken.
So the next time I came to that school, I set my water bottle on my desk. Now this is a little strange in Japan, but not totally unusual. You see, usually in staff rooms in Japan, they have coffee and tea for people to drink. As I don't like either of those, I just bring in some bottled water (I wash the bottles and re-use them - I'm not one of THOSE people who buy a new bottle of water everyday). This teacher saw my water bottle and asked me, "Oh, do you like mineral water?" She actually said this about 3 times, as I couldn't understand her English the first few rounds. "Ummm, sort of?" I replied. Because it's not like I'm addicted to it - I just buy it for the bottle. "Oh, I see," she said. "Water is healthy. But why drink mineral water? H-city has good water!" Okay, fine, "Yes, I like mineral water," I finally said just to get her to stop asking about it (this conversation looks short, but about 10 minutes actually passed, as she tried to say this first in Japanese, which I didn't understand, then in very broken English, which was still difficult to understand.). And thus the conversation ends, right? RIGHT???
Haha. Wrong. She persists in asking me if all American water is dirty and if we all have to drink mineral water. And, like many Japanese elderly and middle aged ladies, she's very grabby. In Japan, usually you don't touch other people unless you're good friends (hence bowing, not hand-shaking). Japanese people know, however, that this is not the rule in other countries. So many of them feel that it is okay to touch foreigners, as we don't have the non-tactile rules that apply to Japan. Unfortunately, some women feel that it is okay to grab me. And they don't understand how hard they grab. Since they don't touch people often, I think they underestimate the amount of force you need to exert when taking someone's arm, patting them on the back, or poking them. I have bruises, painful painful bruises, from where old ladies have grabbed me or poked me. And the problem is that you can't pull away from them because you don't want to hurt them or knock them over. But people who know me, know I have about a 15-foot circle of personal space around me at all times. And these ladies definitely invade my circle. And this woman was no different. She grabbed my water bottle, then grabbed my arm and started talking in fast Japanese about mineral water. And she WOULDN'T LET ME GO. I could't get away. I wanted nothing more than to jerk my arm away and run out of the staff room (this has got to be some sort of phobia or mental disorder, but I seriously hate it when people I don't know grab me. Maybe it's a control issue?). After 5 minutes, she let go, and blessedly, it was time for me to go. I literally threw all my stuff in my backpack and ran out of the room.
I should be nicer to her for making the effort to speak in English, I know. But that was just weird. And it got a little weirder the next time I went to that school. She came in the staff room towards the end of the day again and saw my water bottle. And once again, she asked me if I liked mineral water. "Wait," I thought, "didn't we just have this conversation a few days ago?" But since she was trying in English, I responded politely, but made sure none of my limbs or water bottles were within grabbing distance.
Fast forward 2 months later, and everytime she sits down, the first words out of her mouth to me are, "Oh, do you like mineral water?" AAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!! "What will it take for you to STOP ASKING THAT QUESTION?!?" Seriously, I know this isn't a big deal, but imagine if someone you didn't like came up to you and asked the same incredibly pointless question EVERY DAY. Wouldn't it slowly wear away at your soul? It got to the point where I dreaded going to this school. I would hide my water in my bag and only take it out when I needed it. And yet, she would always find a way to ask me that question. I wanted to post a sign between our desks answering the question so that I could just point to it everytime she asked.
Luckily for me, I had already developed a skill crucial to living and being successful in Japan. It is the skill of Crafty Ignore, which is like a +5 skill level in D&D (total lie - never played D&D, but it sounds like a move from there). You see, here's my problem: I can't let my anger get the best of me. It's not an option to explode. Because to most of these people, I represent America. And if I explode in anger, just once, that means that all Americans suddenly have anger management problems. So anytime I'm rude, angry, or negative in any way, I immediately gain a bad reputation for all Americans. So I had to develop the Crafty Ignore skill. See, I figured out early in my time here in Japan that if you don't make eye contact with people, they'll usually leave you alone. People usually won't talk to you if you look busy and avoid making eye contact with them. I have spent many minutes watching people stand uncomfortably beside me as I updated my blog, looking intensely busy and not looking up at them. I know they're there, but so long as I don't acknowledge them, they feel bad disturbing me. Yes, I am that rude. But sometimes, you just KNOW that the person is going to ask you an inane question or something. The nice thing about this situation is that when I act like I'm busy, they make the silly assumption that I am actually, well, busy. So I get off scott free because they don't think I'm being rude. Far from it - they think that I'm a hard worker. In being rude, I'm actually helping out all Americans. See guys? It all works out somehow. Right?
So now, everytime I see this woman come in, I immediately pull something out of my bag so that I can look totally focused and engrossed in something or other. I can see her twitching next to me, facing me, and obviously wanting to make another insipid comment about bottled water, and I just ignore her. I become completely and totally engrossed in my calendar, textbook, pencil, head lice, whatever, just to ignore her. I don't think anyone has ever been so engrossed with the Bohemian Raphsody, but she came in once, and it was all I had on my desk. For about a week, I couldn't get that song out of my head. It helped when I listened to Weird Al's version. But you know what? It was worth listening to the Bohemian Raphsody for a week just to not here that stupid question.
I guess the first big news is that I'm staying in Japan for another year. I've recontracted, which means I'll be staying until August 2009. But I am so definitely coming home then. Don't think I could last a 4th year. But I'm going to stick it out for a third year for my students, teachers, education in general, and money in specific. I'm working on having a positive mindset about a third year, and for those who know me, you know that a positive mindset is sometimes slightly difficult for me to achieve. It's hard to be positive during winter in Japan. It's cold outside, it's colder inside, everyone's sick, and we're all battling SAD (Seasonal Affect Disorder or something like that). I just keep telling myself I need to last until March. My birthday is in March, spring is in March, the teachers I hate could potentially be leaving my schools in March... it's a world full of possibilities.
So as I look towards this possibly brighter future, I guess I'll also look far back at the dimming past for some fun stories about what's been going on with my life since September. I think I pop up a few updates over the next few days with stories from the past 7 months.
On Annoying Questions
Some of you may remember quite awhile ago, I complained that at one of my schools, I had a teacher who talked to me in very broken, very LOUD English. He left the school at the end of the year (the teacher he was replacing was on maternity leave, and she came back thank GOD!), and I was sort of happy about that. But I should have known better. When one annoyance leaves, it is sure to be replaced by another. There was a new teacher who sat next to me, and she was a special education/home ec. teacher. On the first day, she turned and introduced herself to me in English. "Oh, that's nice," I (foolishly) thought. "She's trying English and seems like she wants to speak and learn it." Hahahahaha... I shoud have heard my scornful laughter coming from the future, but for some reason, I didn't. My Scornful Laughter Detector must have been broken.
So the next time I came to that school, I set my water bottle on my desk. Now this is a little strange in Japan, but not totally unusual. You see, usually in staff rooms in Japan, they have coffee and tea for people to drink. As I don't like either of those, I just bring in some bottled water (I wash the bottles and re-use them - I'm not one of THOSE people who buy a new bottle of water everyday). This teacher saw my water bottle and asked me, "Oh, do you like mineral water?" She actually said this about 3 times, as I couldn't understand her English the first few rounds. "Ummm, sort of?" I replied. Because it's not like I'm addicted to it - I just buy it for the bottle. "Oh, I see," she said. "Water is healthy. But why drink mineral water? H-city has good water!" Okay, fine, "Yes, I like mineral water," I finally said just to get her to stop asking about it (this conversation looks short, but about 10 minutes actually passed, as she tried to say this first in Japanese, which I didn't understand, then in very broken English, which was still difficult to understand.). And thus the conversation ends, right? RIGHT???
Haha. Wrong. She persists in asking me if all American water is dirty and if we all have to drink mineral water. And, like many Japanese elderly and middle aged ladies, she's very grabby. In Japan, usually you don't touch other people unless you're good friends (hence bowing, not hand-shaking). Japanese people know, however, that this is not the rule in other countries. So many of them feel that it is okay to touch foreigners, as we don't have the non-tactile rules that apply to Japan. Unfortunately, some women feel that it is okay to grab me. And they don't understand how hard they grab. Since they don't touch people often, I think they underestimate the amount of force you need to exert when taking someone's arm, patting them on the back, or poking them. I have bruises, painful painful bruises, from where old ladies have grabbed me or poked me. And the problem is that you can't pull away from them because you don't want to hurt them or knock them over. But people who know me, know I have about a 15-foot circle of personal space around me at all times. And these ladies definitely invade my circle. And this woman was no different. She grabbed my water bottle, then grabbed my arm and started talking in fast Japanese about mineral water. And she WOULDN'T LET ME GO. I could't get away. I wanted nothing more than to jerk my arm away and run out of the staff room (this has got to be some sort of phobia or mental disorder, but I seriously hate it when people I don't know grab me. Maybe it's a control issue?). After 5 minutes, she let go, and blessedly, it was time for me to go. I literally threw all my stuff in my backpack and ran out of the room.
I should be nicer to her for making the effort to speak in English, I know. But that was just weird. And it got a little weirder the next time I went to that school. She came in the staff room towards the end of the day again and saw my water bottle. And once again, she asked me if I liked mineral water. "Wait," I thought, "didn't we just have this conversation a few days ago?" But since she was trying in English, I responded politely, but made sure none of my limbs or water bottles were within grabbing distance.
Fast forward 2 months later, and everytime she sits down, the first words out of her mouth to me are, "Oh, do you like mineral water?" AAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!! "What will it take for you to STOP ASKING THAT QUESTION?!?" Seriously, I know this isn't a big deal, but imagine if someone you didn't like came up to you and asked the same incredibly pointless question EVERY DAY. Wouldn't it slowly wear away at your soul? It got to the point where I dreaded going to this school. I would hide my water in my bag and only take it out when I needed it. And yet, she would always find a way to ask me that question. I wanted to post a sign between our desks answering the question so that I could just point to it everytime she asked.
Luckily for me, I had already developed a skill crucial to living and being successful in Japan. It is the skill of Crafty Ignore, which is like a +5 skill level in D&D (total lie - never played D&D, but it sounds like a move from there). You see, here's my problem: I can't let my anger get the best of me. It's not an option to explode. Because to most of these people, I represent America. And if I explode in anger, just once, that means that all Americans suddenly have anger management problems. So anytime I'm rude, angry, or negative in any way, I immediately gain a bad reputation for all Americans. So I had to develop the Crafty Ignore skill. See, I figured out early in my time here in Japan that if you don't make eye contact with people, they'll usually leave you alone. People usually won't talk to you if you look busy and avoid making eye contact with them. I have spent many minutes watching people stand uncomfortably beside me as I updated my blog, looking intensely busy and not looking up at them. I know they're there, but so long as I don't acknowledge them, they feel bad disturbing me. Yes, I am that rude. But sometimes, you just KNOW that the person is going to ask you an inane question or something. The nice thing about this situation is that when I act like I'm busy, they make the silly assumption that I am actually, well, busy. So I get off scott free because they don't think I'm being rude. Far from it - they think that I'm a hard worker. In being rude, I'm actually helping out all Americans. See guys? It all works out somehow. Right?
So now, everytime I see this woman come in, I immediately pull something out of my bag so that I can look totally focused and engrossed in something or other. I can see her twitching next to me, facing me, and obviously wanting to make another insipid comment about bottled water, and I just ignore her. I become completely and totally engrossed in my calendar, textbook, pencil, head lice, whatever, just to ignore her. I don't think anyone has ever been so engrossed with the Bohemian Raphsody, but she came in once, and it was all I had on my desk. For about a week, I couldn't get that song out of my head. It helped when I listened to Weird Al's version. But you know what? It was worth listening to the Bohemian Raphsody for a week just to not here that stupid question.
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