On Elections

Last Sunday, I went to a Field Day for adult foreigners in Japan. Craziness and fun ensued. The next day, muscle pain ensued. I was planning on having a nice, relaxing day of sleep. And that's when it started.

I know, I know, you're sick of elections already. After all, you've been hearing the campaigning for two years now. But I'll be complaining about Japanese elections, not American ones. The good thing about Japanese elections is that they are almost literally called one week and held the next. The bad thing about Japanese elections is the week between when they're called and when they're held.

The Japanese way of campaigning is quite different from the American one. There aren't a lot of expensive tv ads or the like (with only one week, it's kind of hard to make, schedule, and air them), so in order to get attention, they turn to the airwaves. No, not radio. Actual honest-to-God airwaves. They drive around in cars with gigantic speakers attached to the top and blare out campaign slogans. All day. For 7 days. At maximum volume. And lucky for me, this year, there are 23 candidates up for various elected positions, which means I get to hear 23 different people drive by and say, "Thank you, please vote for me!" All day. From 7:30am to 8pm.

So these 23 candidates all get jackets that are a bright, annoying colors, paint a car with their name and various slogans, then get 4 of their friends to drive around with them, then wave with white gloves (not kidding, they all wear white gloves) at passerby as they drive around the city. With 23 candidates and a small city, they sometimes cross paths, double the noise pollution. Invariably, one candidate will apologize and drive away, which everyone appreciates because by that point, all the china is shaking on the shelves. I always think better of the person who drives away. If I were running a campaign, that would be my strategy. I would drive around until I found another campaign vehicle, then act like the bigger person, apologize, and leave. Everyone would love me because they wouldn't hear from me.

Another annoying thing about these campaign cars is that they drive slow. And we're not talking, "5 or 10 miles under the speed limit" slow. We're talking, "Whoa, did that old lady with the walker just pass me?" slow. And they randomly stop completely so they can wave more vigorously at the old guy on his bike who is doing his best to completely ignore them. This just incites them to wave harder and crank up the volume on their speakers. Eventually, the old guy will acknowledge them just to get them to go away, and then the car will drive off, happily assured of having lost another 10 votes (the old guy plus the 9 cars that are backed up behind them whose drivers are now all angry and late for work). Again, if I was running for election, I'd go speed through the city at 80 miles an hour. Everyone would love me because I wouldn't be backing up traffic AND they could drive just behind me at 78 miles an hour and not have to worry about getting pulled over first!

Unfortunately, I can't even vote in Japan, let alone run for office. Ah, well. Fortunately, the elections are tomorrow, so I don't have to listen to this noise polution that much longer. I just have to worry about the motorcycle gang that's started to hang out near my train station. Most annoying thing in the world. I was tired on Sunday because of the exercise Saturday and the nonstop campaigning. I was finally ready to go to sleep Sunday night when the biker gang started to get feisty. I think they must not like the elections, either. I never thought I'd have anything in common with a biker gang, but there you go.