On School Assemblies and Other Things That Motivate People to Count Ceiling Tiles

I hate school assemblies. They are long, boring, and a waste of everyone`s time, including my own. And my time is valuable. Every minute I`m in an assembly is a minute that could be spent sleeping in the teachers room. We had a school assembly today in order to prepare students for Winter Break. Pretty much the gist of it was, “be good over break, study hard, don`t have too much fun.” The students listened to the principals`s speech, which was thankfully shorter than normal (only 10 minutes of nonsense this time instead of the usual 20!), then they gathered to say the school pledge or whatever and sing the school song. After that, they got up to sing a random song, the point of which I`m not entirely certain. More speeches by other students (long, boring, pointless speeches), and I was thinking I was home free after only 40 minutes. I was fairly frigid at this point (no central/indoor heating in Japan, so the gym was about 35-40 degrees). Then they called in “The Talker.” The Talker is a guy who loves the sound of his own voice. He talks all the time, just for the sake of talking. I don`t know if he actually says anything helpful or instructive. I just know it`s usually fairly long. He`s sort of like the evil twin of the energizer bunny. He never quits, even though I wish he would sometimes. He talked for over 15 minutes. And the students are required to sit attentively the whole time, looking as if they are enraptured in his words. In reality, they are probably trying to figure out what the first stage of frostbite looks like and if that numb sensation in their feet and hands is something they should be concerned about. I was quite awake and perky until he started talking – once he started speaking, though, my will to live was sucked right out of me. I was almost asleep at several points in his riveting speech, and was jerked back to awareness by him yelling some phrase or another (he likes to yell, too). I have never been so happy to hear someone ask students to stand up, as it signaled the end of his monopoly on the microphone. I think I`m just going to abuse my privileges as a foreigner and walk out next time he starts to talk at an assembly.